Charlie attacked Julia. I'm not sure that I can do this much longer. That's all.

Did the doctors say anything you can do? Has he attacked Julia before? I hope she's ok.

It's very rare towards her. No, there's nothing to do. We are in danger every minute of every day.

Alex Ball : There HAS to be something they can do.

sending you hugs

Mostly Phen - Yes. They can put him in a straight jacket and give him lithium. The cocktail of medicine he is currently on would kill most people. Can't do much else.

I am sorry. There seem to be no good options.

I'm so sorry

Saying I'm so sorry doesn't help you at all, but I am lost for words, I wish I could help in some way. You guys are always in my thoughts.

How is Julia? I’m sorry this is escalating.

She's fine. I'm not. I don't think I love one of my children any more and I don't know how to come to grips with that.

Oh no I'm so sorry

I never know what to say, because you're in an impossible situation and know more about it than I ever will. But definitely you're not the only parents in this situation. Do you get access to any peer support or respite care ever?

And you're allowed to have all your feelings about all of it. You're a whole person, not just a caretaker.

oh no that's bad. (That it ended up this way, that Julia was a focus.) Not that you feel no love; that, my sweet friend, just just your humanity showing.

Trauma does terrible things, and I honestly feel that the emotional toll is so much worse than the physical. You can't get your heart and soul torn up so often without it dying a little bit. I get you.

thaumata - Respite doesn't take violent people.

oh I'm so sorry. And angry about the lack of support and alternatives. You cope with this by knowing you are not bigger than your children's problems. When they are too much, they are. Being a parent doesn't make you superhuman or able to do the impossible or able to take the impossible. I wish I could help

I have no words to help but know I love you guys and you can and should have whatever feelings youre having.

It shouldn't be this way and I love you guys. I wish I could offer more than words. I fully support your personal decisions, whatever they may be, because I know your heart is in the right spot of love for your family and their safety.

I'm glad Julia is okay

Alex Ball : It’s ok to feel like this. In fact it’s natural in these extreme circumstances. You are all being tested beyond reason. I’m sorry that the system does not have the help you need. My only advice would be to revisit all options if there are any and reconsider what is best for the whole family.

I’m sorry. Nobody should have to go through what you guys do and definitely not daily. I wish there was more I (we) could do. I’m sorry.

Mostly Phen : Sadly, no there is not. I dealt with this a lot with older men who were violent due to dementia. Laws protecting their rights to autonomy mean that chemical or physical restraints are not legal, even if they are a danger to others. This means facilities will refuse to take them because of the danger.

Families are left having to care for them with no other options. That is not how it SHOULD be, but that is how it IS. And everybody assumes that there must be SOMEONE who has to deal with this stuff right up until they find out there isn’t. Some states may vary, but the ones I have worked in all had this exact issue.

State hospitals were the answer in the past, but Reagan closed them, good and bad. Then failed to replace the care they were charged with providing that nobody else did. Those without families bounce between jail and hospital after being removed from every available care facility.

I know every situation is different and differs by states. My family got medical guardianship of an adult family member, which helped some, but you're right, the system is very broken and families and patients suffer tremendously, sometimes with their lives. It is heartbreaking.

I’m so sorry for this awful situation. Just seems like it is a no win situation but my love to you all

It feels inadequate but I am so sorry.

He is only going to get stronger as he matures. Very concerning. What do Drs say to do when he becomes combative?