What does gender dysphoria feel like? First of all, the term “gender dysphoria” is inaccurate. The more accurate term is "Sex Dysphoria." So, what does Sex Dysphoria feel like?
For me, it felt like intrusive thoughts that told me, unrelentingly, that I was born “wrong.” Something was fundamentally wrong with me – my body, my sex – that needed correction. And if I didn't make those “corrections,” I'd never be happy. I'd end up killing myself.
It felt like feeling physically sickened by my own breasts – to the point that I actually considered cutting them off myself, multiple times, between the ages of 21 and 26. I looked it up. I bought alcohol swabs, bandages and knives.
It felt like my female reproductive system was so disgusting and wrong that I had to remove it, even if that meant death. I felt infected. I used to punch myself repeatedly in the lower abdomen because what was inside me “wasn't supposed to be there.”
I used to hurt myself. In many different ways. Because I deserved to be in pain. Because I was born “wrong.” And I couldn't accept myself until my body was “right.”
But here's the thing they don't tell you – That male body you so wish you had? You'll never have it. Ever.
But you cannot live a lie for the rest of your life. Not happily, anyway. So even after pumping myself full of cross-sex hormones and having my breasts amputated, I still wasn't happy. Because I wasn't male, and I knew it. Because I can't be.
“Gender dysphoria,” aka Sex Dysphoria, feels like living in a body that hates itself so much that it'll be as self-destructive as possible in a battle it cannot win. It feels like complete hopelessness. The most potent form of self-hatred I've seen.
Fortunately for me I was able to identify the root causes of my Sex Dysphoria: sexual abuse, depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia and an inkling of an eating disorder (the latter never spiralled into anything too severe).
Watson的經歷讓我特別放在心上的，就是他是成年才轉換的，但這之中仍有許多系統性的推力，讓他做出了這後悔的決定 我們都覺得成年人要為自己的決定負責吧，但牽涉到醫療專業、飽受心理疾病所苦的行為人，如果醫療機構不去說明可能風險，充分檢視過其他可能的診斷，是明顯的失職，加上整個催眠trans men are men，trans women are women的風氣，與原有的厭女文化交相融合，就會一直製造出像Watson這樣的案例
這個推文串是她自述有性別不安的感覺以及對她的影響。
＊裡面有比較多讓人不適的描述，加上他本人是後悔進行過這些療程，可能會trigger一些人，請斟酌閱讀
跨性別
First of all, the term “gender dysphoria” is inaccurate.
The more accurate term is "Sex Dysphoria."
So, what does Sex Dysphoria feel like?
首先，「（社會）性別(gender)不安」這個詞是不精確的。
更準確的用詞應該是「（生理）性別(sex)不安」。
那麼，生理性別不安是什麼感覺？
I actually considered that.
我真的曾考慮這麼做。
I wanted it cut out.
我想要切除它們。
But here's the thing they don't tell you – That male body you so wish you had? You'll never have it. Ever.
但有些事情是他們不會告訴你的－－那個你渴望擁有的男性身體？你無法得到，永遠。
And it is good enough. For a while.
Until it's not.
這的確夠好了，暫時是。
直到不是。
Because we can't change sex.
因為我們無法改變生理性別。
Nothing to celebrate.
這沒有什麼值得慶祝的。
Why was that ignored in favour of affirmation?
那為何肯定療法完全忽略了這些？
I did not need to amputate my healthy breasts.
I needed psychological help for my mental health struggles. From the professionals in charge of my care. Instead, I was affirmed, and I transitioned.
A horrific decision I cannot undo.
我當時並不需要切除我健康的乳房。
我當時需要的是協助我改善心理健康問題的心理治療，當時負責我的專業人士應該提供這些。然而，我卻被肯認了，並開始進行變性療程。
那是一個不可逆的可怕決定。
Transitioning made everything worse. I'll spend the rest of my life recovering from it.
And before anyone says “that's not gender dysphoria” I was diagnosed by a specialist gender team, at a gender clinic, with it.
So, it is.
變性療程使一切都更糟糕了。我接下來一輩子都得花在從療程所造成的傷害中復原。
在任何人說「你那不是性別不安」之前，我當時是由專門的性別團隊，在一個性別診所，被診斷出性別不安的。
所以，這就是性別不安。
但是檢視Watson的案例，他沒有被充分告知副作用、被專業人士鼓勵轉換，而造成了不可回復且他本人不想要的後果，難道不也是一種虐待與傷害
我們都覺得成年人要為自己的決定負責吧，但牽涉到醫療專業、飽受心理疾病所苦的行為人，如果醫療機構不去說明可能風險，充分檢視過其他可能的診斷，是明顯的失職，加上整個催眠trans men are men，trans women are women的風氣，與原有的厭女文化交相融合，就會一直製造出像Watson這樣的案例
他們還想直接用在未成年身上