p/otq3fx

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 9:44 PM

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 9:48 PM

cw: parent death talk

I am so done with my mother and trying not to feel guilt about it....

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 9:45 PM

Last week she double deadnamed me on our Easter card. This morning, because I didn't answer the phone last night, she texted Lore to make sure I saw her messages.

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 9:45 PM

DEADNAMED AND MISGENDERED AGAIN

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 9:46 PM

And she's like ... passive aggressive about when she should call me

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 9:46 PM

And I just

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 9:46 PM

can I go one week without my stomach in drama knots?

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 9:46 PM

ONE
FUCKING
WEEK

Just Lore

@eternalferret

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 9:46 PM

I was PA right back at her for her shit.

Just Lore

@eternalferret

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 9:47 PM

triska

@triskahyena

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 9:47 PM

literally when she does it just be like "sorry, no one here by that name, must be a wrong number"

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 9:48 PM

And she specifically wants to talk to me about a service she's suddenly decided to have after hanging with Dad's super religious siblings on Easter, when originally she didn't want one because he wouldn't have

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 9:48 PM

and I

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 9:48 PM

there are levels to this rage and they are all very nuanced

Snufkin

@dynasty_decapitated

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 9:48 PM

I'm so sorry dude, that's shitty of her

juliette lives

@speaksincolor

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 9:48 PM

"you cannot talk to me ever until you stop deadnaming me, goodbye."

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 10:52 PM

so she just CALLED LORE because texting me wasn't apparently good enough

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 10:53 PM

and hoo boy that was an hour on the phone that went places

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 10:53 PM

I need to parse this and we need to go to dinner but WOW a lot of Not Okay things were said.

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 10:54 PM

We managed to get through it and only through the grace of mutual respect for Dad's memory, probably

Snufkin

@dynasty_decapitated

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 10:55 PM

Holy shit

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 10:55 PM

Short list: weaponizing her grief as a guilt trip, Googling my new name, continually deadnaming me even after I said not to ...

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 10:55 PM

OH and apparently I Must at least acknowledge her texts Right Away even if I don't have time to fully respond

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 10:56 PM

Because she thinks I'm Shutting Her Out

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 10:57 PM

I sure as fuck lost my temper and she tried to tell me to call back when I wasn't freaking out, and I still managed to explain "look I didn't tell you things for months because I wanted this to go as smoothly as possible"

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 10:57 PM

Considering that when I came out they both LEFT THE DINNER TABLE AND THE HOUSE you can imagine why I thought that way

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 10:58 PM

I told her Googling me was like hiring a PI and she could have just asked me how I fucking was

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 10:58 PM

But nope, she found our old GoFundMe from when I was in the hospital in September

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 10:58 PM

And heard about my birthday party

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 10:59 PM

And a whole bunch of other shit and the toxicity was through the ROOF.

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 10:59 PM

And yet her take was "this isn't about you for once, this is about me: do you want me in your life or not"

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 10:59 PM

I really had to fuckin think about that one folks

Max

@showtoon

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 11:05 PM

Wow, holy shit. I’m so sorry Hazel, that is a whole lot of Not Acceptable especially from a parent

тнυη∂єя кιттєη

@nightlocke

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 11:28 PM

"if you're going to continue to disrespect me the way you have since Dad passed? Absolutely not."

тнυη∂єя кιттєη

@nightlocke

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 11:28 PM

I'm sorry you're dealing with all this bullshit.

Just Lore

@eternalferret

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 11:54 PM

I was there and can say BOUNDARIES WERE SET and I'm so proud of Hazel.

Max

@showtoon

Thu, Apr 21, 2022 11:57 PM

Good for him! That's really hard to do; I'm glad to hear that hopefully both of you should be dealing with less of this now

Snufkin

@dynasty_decapitated

Fri, Apr 22, 2022 12:15 AM

Boundaries needed to be set, she's behaving monstrously

Snufkin

@dynasty_decapitated

Fri, Apr 22, 2022 12:15 AM

Hopefully she'll stick to them and not cause any more issues with her bullshit.

Sage⁉

@CuriouslyHigh

Fri, Apr 22, 2022 12:50 AM

Ughhhhhh. It's shit like this which made me go NC on my own mom.

juliette lives

@speaksincolor

Fri, Apr 22, 2022 3:13 PM

Honestly, if she cannot call you by your name and treat you respectfully she doesn't get to be in your life.

shinotenshi22

@shinotenshi22

Fri, Apr 22, 2022 3:18 PM

....I have rage and anger on your behalf. It' snot much I can offer, but it is there. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

Wayward Haze

@hopepunk

Fri, Apr 22, 2022 4:55 PM

Yeah, the lack of respect is going to be a problem if it continues.