mumbles at this point I see ‘the glorification of forgiveness is bad’ posts so much more often than I see actual glorification of forgiveness in media that it’s hard to remember I see positive depictions of anger in media even less
I have heard this take so many times and I’m so out if date on recent stuff that I don’t even know what it’s referring to anymore so I’m just getting tired of it. also everyone uses the word forgiveness wrong, still, on all sides
I’m not good at being mad so seeing one that was especially heavy on ‘not only is anger ok, sometimes it is heinous to forgive people’ just made me kind of lie on my face esp when it was like the fourth one I saw today ,
i'm sorry my brain is stupid and went from "this is an alexithymia moodwormhat" to "have you considered telling them you're literally disabled and a minor"
I guess actually no. if we are counting shitty halfassed forgiveness narratives on the glorification side then I think we should also count shitty halfassed justice narratives on the anger side. I do not know what the ratio is but it is definitely not as onesided as people act like it is
i wish it was less the Media Discussion Way to just make vague statements about all media on social media. i feel like there is way less value in that than like. 'specific media XYZ does ABC and here's why i think that doesn't work in the context of 123 thing from earlier in the piece of media'
the inbetween step was "god that's a pretty terrible take for all the people who are bad at perceiving and processing their own emotions but i guess alexithymia isn't a CoolKids(TM) brain problem"
like the tweet was an empowering one to be like ‘you do not have to and in fact should not forgive your abuser and the ubiquity of abuse forgiveness stories pressuring you into feeling like you’re a bad person if you don’t forgive them is systemically enabling that abuse, but actually anger is a source of power that can be restorative’
but also I just am like. why nearly every time this comes up do people act like no one says this when hating on bad villain redemption stuff is practically a meme. on top of the fact that these posts go around literally constantly
i feel like, i am definitely happy for the people who needed to hear that stuff but i also feel like, dang i'm still working out my feelings like always and got years of backlog that keeps growing, i don't need a constant reminder that xyz actions and stances are things i can take and that there is a moral imperative to Going Against The Flow
it's also kind of wild to me to hear this stuff when like. i feel like the sentiment of no forgiveness/no contact/etc is one that has been growing pretty strong for a while now
(but no it's definitely kind of annoying to be constantly awash in 'DON'T LET ANYBODY TELL YOU THAT XYZ IS WRONG' when you don't actually see anyone telling you xyz is wrong)
the blurring of "redemption arcs and justice arcs can be done well or poorly and can serve different roles for different real life people" and "fiction should be a direct guide for what to do about your real life abusive situation or experience of systemic injustice and what grade you get in Handling Your Trauma 101 Class" freaks me the fuck out tbqh
for myself i just dont want to deal with Takes(TM) anymore because frankly, i have my hands full dealing with my own feelings already, i dont need to experience/deal with someone else's even if they are close to mine
like taking a conversation about one of those into the context of the other instantly enters Potentially Fucked territory and online posting makes it really easy to leapfrog conversations out of their proper context
idk which part of Brain Stuff it is but for me its actually always v draining to like. see other people's feelings, esp expressed in such a way that it's meant to reach out to you. ig because i try to process them as my own when they arent my own and it just makes me feel like i have brain poisoning
which is like, i think it's fair cuz we're all realizing in roughly, like, batches/waves of people, that there is abuse and imbalance prevalent and it can be dealt with, without being endured, but it also feels like. i dunno, i worry that the sentiment helping and starts persecuting vulnerable people
sometimes when people argue a position that's near ubiquitous like it's a hot take is like man sirs gentlemen of the internet even if your take is right the way you're arguing this is bordering on comedy
I AM A LONE VOICE OF TRUTH, ARGUING THAT SOMETIMES IT IS BAD TO CONTINUE TO EXPOSE YOURSELF TO AN ABUSER, EVEN AFTER THEY'VE APOLOGIZED. you, the rest of you, heinous poisoners! YOU WOULD SAY MY ANGER IS INVALID.
like "am i now a bad person for not being angry or unforgiving of this past abuse" and in general the like. hostility + do not forgive do not forget vibes that the wilds of the social medias has been cultivating
because you're right, there might be a lack of positive portrayals of anger in media in general but because the general public/social sphere bubble in which we see this, it's not an uncommon take it's just like
also i’m like kneejerk suspicious that some people define “abuser” as “someone ships a fictional pairing i don’t like and didn’t delete and apologize when i called them a pedo for it”
and yeah, the contributing to the just. the inquisition attitude of fandom spheres right now, seeing no forgiveness is just like yeah okay it feeeeels like there might be a bit of a.
(Eat the candy)
: GOD IT REALLY KINDA FEELS LIKE BRAIN POISONING. I FEEL LIKE I AM PERSONALLY INJURING THIS PERSON IF I CANNOT BE RIGHTEOUSLY ANGRY IN SUPPORT OF THEM BC IT’S SO IMPORTANT TO THEM AND NOW I AM A FAILURE
for me its like "hm i must now Experience What They Are Feeling" and its like trying to shove their feelings mass into my head, squeezing away all my own feelings to make room, and it makes me feel sick.
I’m trying miss twitter user but my anger gear doesn’t work that way it only gets it up for stupid shit or when I remember how social media algorithms work
I legitimately think this person WAS talking about actual irl abuse and not stupid internet shit, but also because of the way people talk about stupid internet shit I can’t actually be sure, also the fact that I can’t tell if this was about media criticism or not and neither could the replies is more the fault of [every post like this as a collective]
I feel like in this case it’s actually less ‘post provided too little context’ and more ‘my brain provided too MUCH context’ because 10< years of this shit has just congealed into a monolith in my brain
it becomes hard to see the post as anything but the atmosphere of people saying similar things within the same sphere even if you're aware there's a greater context wherein such takes are not ubiquitous.
like also it is possible people make these posts like no one talks about things like this because they HAVEN’T seen that many, or seen them at all. however, I have, and,
aaaaaaaa