Me: Zoe, I'm having a mental health crisis. I feel lonely and isolated, like I could scream for days but no one would hear me. I worry. I weep. I can't remember the whole of my face; I refuse to look at my reflection.

Zoe: I'm going to use my wobbly feets and my wonky beak to lift this bottle cap and bonk your face with it for the next fifteen minutes.

To be very fair to Zoe, that's more than what most would do.