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when u start listening to the ost of a canon you fell in love with that got you through a rough time but u also got into it with a toxic ass friend so now its ruined for u but u sadly miss the hell out of it
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its such a dumb thing to be upset about and yet here i am
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i try little by little to get back into it like. i have ALL of the songs on my spotify and i can still listen to some of them, but i was just listening to the main theme for the show that came of it (and its my favorite song of the series, gdi) and i just got. STUPIDLY SAD.
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i love it so much that like LMFAO CONFESSION TIME
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fenris' power in 
is heavily inspired by it LMFAO
is heavily inspired by it LMFAO
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I CANT LET IT GO BUT ALSO ITS PAINFUL!!!!!!!!!!
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im sorry for being vague also im not saying what it is in public because she and i were like. two of the few people who had journals for this canon. there are others too but!!! still.
glamour ghoul
mmm big mood
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anyway feelings are stupid
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IT SUCKS SO MUCH!!!
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its one thing if we just got into it at the same time but i got into it because of her so it's a big y i k e s when i try to get back into it
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we were so knee deep in this canon/fandom together i have strong associations with some songs/characters and her and it SUCKS BUTT
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and knowing she's still around in the same space as me somehow makes it worse??? IDK!!!!
ศก๐ฒ๐ดฤ
๐ด๐ฝั๐ป
๐จ๐ฉ๐ง๐ค๐ฃ๐ฏ๐ค
hugs gently
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its so dumb i want to be into it again and yell about it like i used to but i can't!!! it all reminds me too much of her!!! and it's dangerous because i occasionally get feelings of, "man she and i had so much fun" instead of "fuck her for fucking this up for me" and the first is very very dangerous like i should NOT be missing this person
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ANYWAY I DONT MEAN TO GET REAL HERE I JUST WANTED TO BITCH!!!
๐จ๐ฉ๐ง๐ค๐ฃ๐ฏ๐ค
YOU CAN DO BOTH
แดษช๊ฑ๊ฑษดแดแดแดแดสโ
hhhhh that's rough and i'm sorry you're going through it 
แดษช๊ฑ๊ฑษดแดแดแดแดสโ
HOPEFULLY SOMEDAY you can enjoy the thing
แดษช๊ฑ๊ฑษดแดแดแดแดสโ
and maybe get other people into it so you can have GOOD FOLKS to scream with
แดษช๊ฑ๊ฑษดแดแดแดแดสโ
bc fuck that person in particular
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but yes fenris' power was me being like "i still love this thing and this concept and i cant play any of these characters in game so im giving him this power because CLOSE ENOUGH." also it helps that it really does fit him
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YES HOPEFULLY!!!!!!!!!!!
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but yeah i had that thought too. "maybe someday ill drag people into this hell when im back into it and all will be well again"
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tho it is also one of those canons that's just Rough All Around so LFMAOJTR
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
oh no i hat that it is ruined for you
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
hate*..
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๐จ๐ฉ๐ง๐ค๐ฃ๐ฏ๐ค
: I KNOW BUT STILL!!!!!!!
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sob me too
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the music is so good too
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im getting there tho i think i can listen to at least 3 songs
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and not get upset
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
i really do think that over time you will get better at loving this canon/ost again
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i think so too
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
it's just too soon from what happened, if this is about what i think it is about
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give yourself time to heal and go through this at your own pace
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IT IS ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK and yeah, i agree. thats why im not trying to push it
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
fall in love with that ost in time
fall in love with that ost in time
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i just kinda tabbed out of this one song like "that's cool, im not ready yet. its cool"
๐จ๐ฉ๐ง๐ค๐ฃ๐ฏ๐ค
that's smart
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THANKS GUYS ILU ALL TBH
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
ily
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ศก๐ฒ๐ดฤ
๐ด๐ฝั๐ป
if it's something you loved that much you'll rediscover it independent of this person
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i think so too!! i just need to give myself time. it feels like centuries already but i only just ended this friendship so.
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i think ive already shown i can by like. still listening to a couple of the songs without thinking about her at all and straight up giving fenris a power that's basically. canon for this thing. LMAO
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
you just gotta build new memories around it
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in time!!
brave vesperia
I FEEL THIS TOO but i agree that after a while those associations fade
brave vesperia
one thing that helped me was showing the thing to new people because then it's almost like you re-experience it through their eyes?
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TRUE!!!!
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i did a couple of months ago and it made me feel strangely happy but it was a very quick "oh this reminds me of this character i love" /shows pic "SO ANYWAY"
brave vesperia
LMFAO AW