𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
when u start listening to the ost of a canon you fell in love with that got you through a rough time but u also got into it with a toxic ass friend so now its ruined for u but u sadly miss the hell out of it
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
its such a dumb thing to be upset about and yet here i am
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
i try little by little to get back into it like. i have ALL of the songs on my spotify and i can still listen to some of them, but i was just listening to the main theme for the show that came of it (and its my favorite song of the series, gdi) and i just got. STUPIDLY SAD.
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
i love it so much that like LMFAO CONFESSION TIME
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
fenris' power in 
is heavily inspired by it LMFAO
is heavily inspired by it LMFAO
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
I CANT LET IT GO BUT ALSO ITS PAINFUL!!!!!!!!!!
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
im sorry for being vague also im not saying what it is in public because she and i were like. two of the few people who had journals for this canon. there are others too but!!! still.
dark sun.
mmm big mood
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
anyway feelings are stupid
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
IT SUCKS SO MUCH!!!
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
its one thing if we just got into it at the same time but i got into it because of her so it's a big y i k e s when i try to get back into it
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
we were so knee deep in this canon/fandom together i have strong associations with some songs/characters and her and it SUCKS BUTT
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
and knowing she's still around in the same space as me somehow makes it worse??? IDK!!!!
ȡ𝓲𝘴ą𝘴𝓽є𝓻
𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙯𝙤
hugs gently
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
its so dumb i want to be into it again and yell about it like i used to but i can't!!! it all reminds me too much of her!!! and it's dangerous because i occasionally get feelings of, "man she and i had so much fun" instead of "fuck her for fucking this up for me" and the first is very very dangerous like i should NOT be missing this person
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
ANYWAY I DONT MEAN TO GET REAL HERE I JUST WANTED TO BITCH!!!
𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙯𝙤
YOU CAN DO BOTH
ᴋɪꜱꜱɴᴀᴘᴘᴇʀₒ
hhhhh that's rough and i'm sorry you're going through it 
ᴋɪꜱꜱɴᴀᴘᴘᴇʀₒ
HOPEFULLY SOMEDAY you can enjoy the thing
ᴋɪꜱꜱɴᴀᴘᴘᴇʀₒ
and maybe get other people into it so you can have GOOD FOLKS to scream with
ᴋɪꜱꜱɴᴀᴘᴘᴇʀₒ
bc fuck that person in particular
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
but yes fenris' power was me being like "i still love this thing and this concept and i cant play any of these characters in game so im giving him this power because CLOSE ENOUGH." also it helps that it really does fit him
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
YES HOPEFULLY!!!!!!!!!!!
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
but yeah i had that thought too. "maybe someday ill drag people into this hell when im back into it and all will be well again"
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
tho it is also one of those canons that's just Rough All Around so LFMAOJTR
ᴍᴀxɪᴍσƒƒ
oh no i hat that it is ruined for you
ᴍᴀxɪᴍσƒƒ
hate*..
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙯𝙤
: I KNOW BUT STILL!!!!!!!
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
sob me too
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
the music is so good too
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
im getting there tho i think i can listen to at least 3 songs
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
and not get upset
ᴍᴀxɪᴍσƒƒ
i really do think that over time you will get better at loving this canon/ost again
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
i think so too
ᴍᴀxɪᴍσƒƒ
it's just too soon from what happened, if this is about what i think it is about
ᴍᴀxɪᴍσƒƒ
give yourself time to heal and go through this at your own pace
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
IT IS ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK and yeah, i agree. thats why im not trying to push it
ᴍᴀxɪᴍσƒƒ
fall in love with that ost in time
fall in love with that ost in time
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
i just kinda tabbed out of this one song like "that's cool, im not ready yet. its cool"
𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙯𝙤
that's smart
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
THANKS GUYS ILU ALL TBH
ᴍᴀxɪᴍσƒƒ
ᴍᴀxɪᴍσƒƒ
ily
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
ȡ𝓲𝘴ą𝘴𝓽є𝓻
if it's something you loved that much you'll rediscover it independent of this person
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
i think so too!! i just need to give myself time. it feels like centuries already but i only just ended this friendship so.
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
i think ive already shown i can by like. still listening to a couple of the songs without thinking about her at all and straight up giving fenris a power that's basically. canon for this thing. LMAO
ᴍᴀxɪᴍσƒƒ
you just gotta build new memories around it
ᴍᴀxɪᴍσƒƒ
in time!!
brave vesperia
I FEEL THIS TOO but i agree that after a while those associations fade
brave vesperia
one thing that helped me was showing the thing to new people because then it's almost like you re-experience it through their eyes?
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
TRUE!!!!
𝕮𝕺𝕷𝕰
i did a couple of months ago and it made me feel strangely happy but it was a very quick "oh this reminds me of this character i love" /shows pic "SO ANYWAY"
brave vesperia
LMFAO AW