โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
when u start listening to the ost of a canon you fell in love with that got you through a rough time but u also got into it with a toxic ass friend so now its ruined for u but u sadly miss the hell out of it
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
its such a dumb thing to be upset about and yet here i am
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
i try little by little to get back into it like. i have ALL of the songs on my spotify and i can still listen to some of them, but i was just listening to the main theme for the show that came of it (and its my favorite song of the series, gdi) and i just got. STUPIDLY SAD.
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
i love it so much that like LMFAO CONFESSION TIME
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
fenris' power in 
is heavily inspired by it LMFAO
is heavily inspired by it LMFAO
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
I CANT LET IT GO BUT ALSO ITS PAINFUL!!!!!!!!!!
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
im sorry for being vague also im not saying what it is in public because she and i were like. two of the few people who had journals for this canon. there are others too but!!! still.
glamour ghoul
mmm big mood
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
anyway feelings are stupid
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
IT SUCKS SO MUCH!!!
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
its one thing if we just got into it at the same time but i got into it because of her so it's a big y i k e s when i try to get back into it
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
we were so knee deep in this canon/fandom together i have strong associations with some songs/characters and her and it SUCKS BUTT
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
and knowing she's still around in the same space as me somehow makes it worse??? IDK!!!!
ศก๐ฒ๐ดฤ
๐ด๐ฝั๐ป
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
hugs gently
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
its so dumb i want to be into it again and yell about it like i used to but i can't!!! it all reminds me too much of her!!! and it's dangerous because i occasionally get feelings of, "man she and i had so much fun" instead of "fuck her for fucking this up for me" and the first is very very dangerous like i should NOT be missing this person
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
ANYWAY I DONT MEAN TO GET REAL HERE I JUST WANTED TO BITCH!!!
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
YOU CAN DO BOTH
แดษชษดษขสแด สสแดแดษดโ
hhhhh that's rough and i'm sorry you're going through it 
แดษชษดษขสแด สสแดแดษดโ
HOPEFULLY SOMEDAY you can enjoy the thing
แดษชษดษขสแด สสแดแดษดโ
and maybe get other people into it so you can have GOOD FOLKS to scream with
แดษชษดษขสแด สสแดแดษดโ
bc fuck that person in particular
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
but yes fenris' power was me being like "i still love this thing and this concept and i cant play any of these characters in game so im giving him this power because CLOSE ENOUGH." also it helps that it really does fit him
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
YES HOPEFULLY!!!!!!!!!!!
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
but yeah i had that thought too. "maybe someday ill drag people into this hell when im back into it and all will be well again"
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
tho it is also one of those canons that's just Rough All Around so LFMAOJTR
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
oh no i hat that it is ruined for you
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
hate*..
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
: I KNOW BUT STILL!!!!!!!
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
sob me too
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
the music is so good too
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
im getting there tho i think i can listen to at least 3 songs
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
and not get upset
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
i really do think that over time you will get better at loving this canon/ost again
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
i think so too
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
it's just too soon from what happened, if this is about what i think it is about
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
give yourself time to heal and go through this at your own pace
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
IT IS ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK and yeah, i agree. thats why im not trying to push it
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
fall in love with that ost in time
fall in love with that ost in time
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
i just kinda tabbed out of this one song like "that's cool, im not ready yet. its cool"
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
that's smart
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
THANKS GUYS ILU ALL TBH
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
ily
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
ศก๐ฒ๐ดฤ
๐ด๐ฝั๐ป
if it's something you loved that much you'll rediscover it independent of this person
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
i think so too!! i just need to give myself time. it feels like centuries already but i only just ended this friendship so.
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
i think ive already shown i can by like. still listening to a couple of the songs without thinking about her at all and straight up giving fenris a power that's basically. canon for this thing. LMAO
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
you just gotta build new memories around it
แดแดxษชแดฯฦฦ
in time!!
brave vesperia
I FEEL THIS TOO but i agree that after a while those associations fade
brave vesperia
one thing that helped me was showing the thing to new people because then it's almost like you re-experience it through their eyes?
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
TRUE!!!!
โ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐
i did a couple of months ago and it made me feel strangely happy but it was a very quick "oh this reminds me of this character i love" /shows pic "SO ANYWAY"
brave vesperia
LMFAO AW