[not dating] Ok so I don't feel creeped out by this but should I? Someone saw me on okc and tracked me down on fb to message me because I have mutual friends with almost everyone in the arts/SF community. So that's ok, right?

I wouldn't call it a red flag. A yellow flag, sure, but not a red flag. Combine it with enough yellows or any reds, and it could be a problem, but by itself, it doesn't strike me as inherently problematic.

yeah that's my feeling

I don't think googling/facebooking folks is inherently "stalking" behavior. That's just the world we're in.

And it's natural for someone in those areas to know someone who knows me.

^ agreed

if something about how it played out gave you creepy vibes and you did feel creeped out i wouldn't say "no you shouldn't be", but the inverse works here too imo; if you aren't getting creepy vibes, that's okay too

just trust your instincts, and if your instincts are currently telling you it's not creepy, i don't think you should have to second-guess them

I mean, idk if I want to date them but they seem into it and want to buy me coffee and have also indicated they are cool with NOT dating, too, so...

ok this seems fine

Yeah, that seems cool to me.

Ryan found me on Facebook after we met on match and added me before the first date. I wasn’t creeped out, but I remember it was vaguely....unusual? But he said he’d actually done it for my benefit, so that I would feel more comfortable by having info to pass on to friends/family about the random internet guy I was meeting downtown at night

And it was nice actually to be able to look through his history and get a better idea of who he was before we met in person. Match only has so much info

That makes sense. Honestly, my feeling is the info is out there; if I'm easy to find, that's my lookout.

We just chatted and made vague Sunday plans for the market and she said, "or we can see closer to the time, I know mana can fluctuate throughout the week" which is so true so it's nice she realizes that.

if you were a difficult person to find, i think it would be more of a creepy thing. you're really visible, though, and taking that into account, this seems like it's overeagerness at worst.

of course, as has already been said, it what follows gives you any sort of creepy vibe, cut bait and bail. instincts are good things to listen to.

all right they're cute