Oh it's Murder House: Oregon edition.
LiberBEARian
Oh it's Murder House: Oregon edition.
Oh it's Murder House: Oregon edition.
LiberBEARian
for those new to this plurk
LiberBEARian
sometimes what I like to do on lunchbreaks is go hunting for houses that are suspiciously low-money
LiberBEARian
I pick a state or area and head on over
LiberBEARian
Right now the thing to beat was that inexplicable bathroom with the red carpet on the vertical side of the shower
LiberBEARian
okay the interior of this house. I may have some questions
okay the interior of this house. I may have some questions
LiberBEARian
the furnace built first and the house cropped up around it because that sure looks like that's what happened
LiberBEARian
also too many doors
LiberBEARian
also what even is this room. The far right side looks like a double front door entrance out to the porch but then you're just slammed into the crematorium taking up the entire back wall
LiberBEARian
Garden hose suspiciously near fire crematorium.
Garden hose suspiciously near fire crematorium.
LiberBEARian
which has like. Pipes facing outwards?
LiberBEARian
to apparently spit fire at you
LiberBEARian
Inexplicable '9'. I do love the acute angle where the wood paneling doesn't quite wanna reach the rest of the house. Because a fire alarm appears to be blocking its way
Inexplicable '9'. I do love the acute angle where the wood paneling doesn't quite wanna reach the rest of the house. Because a fire alarm appears to be blocking its way
LiberBEARian
BUT WHOSE EGGS WERE THEY
BUT WHOSE EGGS WERE THEY
LiberBEARian
also the kitchen window is boarded up
vampiric hiss
i have so many questions about this property lmao
LiberBEARian
also inexplicable employees-only sign about washing hands
LiberBEARian
Both sides!
Both sides!
Luke Skywanker
those hardware fixtures are painfully familiar
LiberBEARian
I think we may be in the less fresh eggs kitchen part of the house. There's room for another fridge but not quite where we were at.
I think we may be in the less fresh eggs kitchen part of the house. There's room for another fridge but not quite where we were at.
LiberBEARian
also check out that lift into the 'main' house, eesh. That ain't up to code
LiberBEARian
This is what I've lovingly called the angle room. Why would you nail a protractor to the wall if you didn't want to show how everything is slowly sinking to hell
This is what I've lovingly called the angle room. Why would you nail a protractor to the wall if you didn't want to show how everything is slowly sinking to hell
LiberBEARian
Least favorite child's bedroom
Least favorite child's bedroom
LiberBEARian
Favorite child's bedroom.
Favorite child's bedroom.
LiberBEARian
Just ignore the door inside the door, and the shelving that clearly was not measured before being hammered into it
LiberBEARian
Because favorite child bedroom gets their own bathroom!
Because favorite child bedroom gets their own bathroom!
LiberBEARian
inexplicable crawl space on top of the three seasons porch. Howdy, neighbors!
inexplicable crawl space on top of the three seasons porch. Howdy, neighbors!
LiberBEARian
Pretty sure that's a birdbath in the yard but from here it looks like a toilet
LiberBEARian
least you're not suffering for natural light
least you're not suffering for natural light
LiberBEARian
inexplicable third kitchen
inexplicable third kitchen
LiberBEARian
on top of the house and carpeted. Same room.
on top of the house and carpeted. Same room.
LiberBEARian
That ceiling sure looks up to code too
LiberBEARian
1! 1 Bedroom! Ah ha ha
1! 1 Bedroom! Ah ha ha
LiberBEARian
I've seen like four kitchens and no bathrooms yet
I've seen like four kitchens and no bathrooms yet
LiberBEARian
.....okay hang on
.....okay hang on
LiberBEARian
just
LiberBEARian
I mean
LiberBEARian
From right to left;
LiberBEARian
that cabinet is fucking levitating
LiberBEARian
those windows are at the perfect height for children to tuck and roll out but not tall enough for adults to see
LiberBEARian
also I have no idea where in the house we are now
LiberBEARian
one of the few normal-looking parts of the house that looks like someone actually was able to measure a straight line for more than a couple of feet
one of the few normal-looking parts of the house that looks like someone actually was able to measure a straight line for more than a couple of feet
LiberBEARian
photographer came back next morning and just
photographer came back next morning and just
LiberBEARian
how many
LiberBEARian
porches are there
LiberBEARian
where are we in the house
LiberBEARian
why are there so many doors
Luke Skywanker
this is the same house, yeah?
LiberBEARian
OH OKAY that enormous step into the house I saw earlier was a bathroom
OH OKAY that enormous step into the house I saw earlier was a bathroom
LiberBEARian
Have fun, Grandma
LiberBEARian
YES
LiberBEARian
YES THIS IS ALL THE SAME HOUSE.
LiberBEARian
I honestly can't tell if this is the same bathroom from a different angle. I think it's different. I'm not sure
I honestly can't tell if this is the same bathroom from a different angle. I think it's different. I'm not sure
LiberBEARian
^that's what I'm thinking but it's five bedrooms
LiberBEARian
and I've seen a 1 and a 9
LiberBEARian
So unless it's like a 1, 3, 5, 7, 9 deal
LiberBEARian
I'm not entirely convinced this isn't a Sims-generated "fuck it throw as much as you can in" thing
I'm not entirely convinced this isn't a Sims-generated "fuck it throw as much as you can in" thing
LiberBEARian
Oh so it's a door that leads to the roof and goes nowhere. Okay
Oh so it's a door that leads to the roof and goes nowhere. Okay
LiberBEARian
I thought it was a boarded-up window
LiberBEARian
found the crematorium fireplace
found the crematorium fireplace
LiberBEARian
was one of these pics the shed I honestly have no clue
was one of these pics the shed I honestly have no clue
LiberBEARian
not an electrician but I don't think wires are meant to look like that
not an electrician but I don't think wires are meant to look like that
LiberBEARian
how can so much house be inside such a tiny lot
how can so much house be inside such a tiny lot
LiberBEARian
Porch needs repainting.
Porch needs repainting.
LiberBEARian
That's it that's all the pictures
LiberBEARian
Yours for $200,000
LiberBEARian
okay the interior shots of this one are actually nice and homey so I won't show them
LiberBEARian
but the exterior
LiberBEARian
LiberBEARian
I joke about murder houses but this one looks like it actually wants to eat you
LiberBEARian
LiberBEARian
Bender: The House
xaris
why are there bloodstains in every single room, especially the kid's bathroom
Lady Stardust
i swear I've had nightmares set in that first house
Lady Stardust
perhaps because it reminds me vividly of derelict buildings I've squatted in
LiberBEARian
Oh shit liz, I'm sorry
𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝔽𝕚𝕣𝕖
is it sad that I'm not phased knowing this is my state? I've been in houses like this, and on my last apartment hunt I discovered that nowhere is safe from these nightmares
spooky queer
lmao i’m just like
spooky queer
this seems average
spooky queer
𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝔽𝕚𝕣𝕖
i lived in oregon too
𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝔽𝕚𝕣𝕖
Oregon is just a spooky place in general and we just got used to it
spooky queer
yup
spooky queer
i’m pretty sure my bff’s house is still unfinished. her dad has been building it since she was little 
Teeff
these plurks always fill me with such joy
𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝔽𝕚𝕣𝕖
growing up I frequently stayed in a house where the bathroom floor was sunken and warped and the toilet always seemed like it would fall over
spooky queer
loool
𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝔽𝕚𝕣𝕖
and a neighbor who had a room that was just heaped about 5 feet high with newspapers. not neatly stacked. just dumped in there
spooky queer
my parents’ house was really nice but the family who had it built decided they didn’t actually want to live in the middle of the woods
spooky queer
you’d think they would have thought of that sooner
spooky queer
the newspapers thing seems like a hoarding problem
𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝔽𝕚𝕣𝕖
unless you're downtown Portland, if you're in the western half you're out of luck.
𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝔽𝕚𝕣𝕖
I was like 6,so it's possible. I just remember my dad had to clean it out after they moved
Lady Stardust
no, it's all right - the mightmares can be iffy but I always love the house in them
Lady Stardust
it's just a recurring one I have where I'm being evicted from it or people keep trooping through my living space
Lady Stardust
it wouldn't work if the house didn't feel like home to me
Boo👻Berry
𝕊𝕥𝕚𝕝𝕝ℝ𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥ℍ𝕖𝕣𝕖
look it's a dream house in Oregon!! I bet we could find two bodies before the kitchens were fully unpacked
𝕊𝕥𝕚𝕝𝕝ℝ𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥ℍ𝕖𝕣𝕖
okay you're all laughing but this is exactly the kind of house my dad always bought in the little podunk towns he found to live in
𝕊𝕥𝕚𝕝𝕝ℝ𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥ℍ𝕖𝕣𝕖
so here I am like "that's a weekend project spent with dad while sleeping in a sleeping bag in it"
Boo👻Berry
I wish you could have seen the house I was born in. It was uh. it was something.
Boo👻Berry
the angle room is just like the bedroom I had
Lady Stardust
𝕊𝕥𝕚𝕝𝕝ℝ𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥ℍ𝕖𝕣𝕖
: I LOVE YOUR DAD
𝕊𝕥𝕚𝕝𝕝ℝ𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥ℍ𝕖𝕣𝕖
I do too but sometimes
LiberBEARian
hahaha
LiberBEARian
sometimes I wish my dad was like that
LiberBEARian
He infamously said to my grandma once when he was 18 that he was going to learn how to work on his car
LiberBEARian
spent all day out there
LiberBEARian
came in, arms covered up to the elbow in oil, looking miserable
LiberBEARian
Said, "If I have to work with my hands, I'll kill myself." and went off to take a shower
LiberBEARian
(and later got really into computers but I don't think he thought of that as "working with one's hands")