(性別議題) Non-binary sex educator and therapist Aida Manduley, MSW defines a non-binary person as "someone who does not identify as a man or a woman, or solely as one of those two genders."
Growing up, I never felt people were wrong when they called me a woman, but it felt like a label imposed on me rather than one that fit. Then, in college, I learned about non-binary identity, and that did fit.
Sure, I have likes and dislikes that some might label “feminine” or “masculine,” but I don’t feel any need to label them that way. The gender binary has made me feel pigeonholed, and I don’t want to identify with it.
But you can’t tell how someone identifies based on what they look like, which is why it’s so important to ask.
“I wish that people wouldn't automatically use she/her pronouns just because of how I present,” says 19-year-old Kelley Cantrell. “They need to stop gendering people's presentations.”
2. Being Non-Binary Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Have Any Other Gender Identity
I personally identify as a non-binary woman because, to me, this identity acknowledges both that I don’t have an innate identification with any gender and that I’ve been socialized as a woman.
3. Not All Non-Binary People Go By They/Them Pronouns
Non-binary people can also have a variety of pronouns. Some go by they/them, some go by she/her, some go by both, and some go by more than that. The only way you can know is to ask.
4. We Are Not All Intersex, Transgender, or Anything Else People Assume We Are
There’s some confusion about what it means to be non-binary. Some equate it with being intersex — that is, having a body not traditionally classified as male or female — but it has nothing to do with your biology.
5. Non-Binary Identity Is Not Just a Quirk or Trend
“People are becoming more accustomed to the idea of transgender people, since it’s easier to explain the idea of feeling more attuned to the ‘opposite gender,’ but something that's in the middle or completely absent from the gender spectrum at all is still difficult,” says Yven.
7. You Don’t Have to Be Equally “Masculine” and “Feminine” to Be Non-Binary
It’s not possible for anyone else to say how “masculine” or “feminine” someone is. Masculinity and femininity are just arbitrary labels we give certain traits. What seems masculine to one culture or person might seem feminine to another. And none of them are right or wrong.
Being non-binary doesn’t have to be a huge deal, though. You don’t have to do anything special or come out to anyone or behave any differently than you did before. The thing about gender is that it’s totally personal to you, so no matter what you say your gender is, you are right. You can’t be wrong.
9. Learning All These Things Isn’t Excessive Political Correctness — It’s Part of Being a Nice Person
“But learning to accept that people have completely different lives and experiences is part of being human. Supporting that someone is trying to be more comfortable in themselves is something that society should strive for and encourage.”
Non-binary sex educator and therapist Aida Manduley, MSW defines a non-binary person as "someone who does not identify as a man or a woman, or solely as one of those two genders."
But you can’t tell how someone identifies based on what they look like, which is why it’s so important to ask.
“I wish that people wouldn't automatically use she/her pronouns just because of how I present,” says 19-year-old Kelley Cantrell. “They need to stop gendering people's presentations.”
I personally identify as a non-binary woman because, to me, this identity acknowledges both that I don’t have an innate identification with any gender and that I’ve been socialized as a woman.
Non-binary people can also have a variety of pronouns. Some go by they/them, some go by she/her, some go by both, and some go by more than that. The only way you can know is to ask.
There’s some confusion about what it means to be non-binary. Some equate it with being intersex — that is, having a body not traditionally classified as male or female — but it has nothing to do with your biology.
“People are becoming more accustomed to the idea of transgender people, since it’s easier to explain the idea of feeling more attuned to the ‘opposite gender,’ but something that's in the middle or completely absent from the gender spectrum at all is still difficult,” says Yven.
"For some, there's little to no distress, and just an internal acknowledgement that their gender is different and/or more complex than man or woman."
It’s not possible for anyone else to say how “masculine” or “feminine” someone is. Masculinity and femininity are just arbitrary labels we give certain traits. What seems masculine to one culture or person might seem feminine to another. And none of them are right or wrong.
Being non-binary doesn’t have to be a huge deal, though. You don’t have to do anything special or come out to anyone or behave any differently than you did before. The thing about gender is that it’s totally personal to you, so no matter what you say your gender is, you are right. You can’t be wrong.
“But learning to accept that people have completely different lives and experiences is part of being human. Supporting that someone is trying to be more comfortable in themselves is something that society should strive for and encourage.”