One of my grandnephews, whom I have never met, invited me to contribute to the family tree he is researching/creating on Wikitree. He invited me as a "Trusted Member" to add memories of his grandfather, my brother-in-law. I tried to think of a nice story or memory of his grandfather and failed.

He never knew his grandfather and the only memories I have of my BIL are of him being drunk, loud, or obnoxious. Those are the good memories. I also remember him in a fight with my brothers who beat him up in the Quonset Hut where I was raising ducklings, killing some of the ducklings. The only time I saw my brothers violent. I saw him beat my sister.

I also recall stories from my nephew of the abuse he inflicted on them. But a nice memory to pass to his grandson, I cannot think of a one. I suppose I could mention he gave Mom & Dad their German Shepherd because they lived in a place that didn't allow dogs. That's sort of a good memory if I keep it limited to just that and don't explain how that came about

Or maybe just be honest, and tell him what a shitheel his grandfather was, and that you have nothing positive to contribute.

Maybe he wants to know the truth, warts and all, instead of trying to sanitize the family history.

i think people just want to feel good about where they came from... i'd just say something truthful that is positive

like your grandfather was very tall, had a loud commanding voice or something generic

Yeah, he was very smart. He worked on early minicomputers with Digital Equipment and Wang Labs, getting fired at each for being drunk. Then on to Rockwell, IBM, Control Data, also fired from each, then teaching math for the army nuclear school, also fired for being drunk. By the time I was in Jr. High, he was unemployable and my sister supported the family

I mean, one of my brothers said he went to the funeral so he could be sure he was dead. And go back after and piss on his grave.

WTF

He was smart, a pioneer in computers. leave it at that lol

I have not mentioned the worst he did, but my sister did it with him. They would go out drinking and lock their two boys in the trunk of the car so no one would see them being left alone.

They did this even in bitter cold Montana and North Dakota winters. I did not know they did this until my nephew told me about 15 years ago.

He must know something of what his grandfather was like just by how awful his father was and how awful my sister, his grandmother, is.