I am beginning to think that new coworker, M, is subtly/unconsciously checking other peoples' reactions to her boyfriend because I think the boyfriend might be an ass and I think she might be looking (unknowingly? maybe on purpose) outside the circle of people that know him to confirm

Examples of things she has said about him:

he's an alpha male. But like, the good parts of being an alpha male

(which are apparently being gregarious and fun

He isn't into politics but likes Trump

'because Trump is a real man who is standing up to the government'

gag

...Don't Like

To which I said, because we were also talking about "good men" that part of being a "good man" is protecting those who are weaker than you, which is not what he does

He also apparently thinks that people are too excited about ADHD and they just need to "stop being pussies" and deal with stuff

to which I said, you know, people are excited because they're finding others like them who have strategies and coping mechanisms to make life work

Also, the men friend 'are fun because they act like 12 year old boys'

I think she just turned 30, and they're all mid-to-late 30s, for reference

(and note she is very much not out of the heteronormativity bubble, so I am altering my language and why I phrase things to make sense to her, so yeah)

and she was talking about how she had to lend him money so he could buy materials for his job, which is why she didn't have money for gas

Note: She does have ADHD as she knows it, though she doesn't have any? apparent strategies or coping mechanisms?

and doesn't recognize very typical ADHD behaviors as ADHD (getting hyperfocused on something interesting on the weekend and forgetting to do chores, for example, which she called being manic ??????

ah. she needs to get rid of the man and replace him with a small pile of resources for living with adhd

and she talks about how he thinks other people need to just, be better, because he has a great time in social settings and she apparently tells him, not everyone can be like you, some of us need some help

OH! and when they're tubbing down the river in their chain of inner tubes, he won't let anyone else lead?

Hamlet 3.3.87 : yeah, I have a feeling (a hope) that that's where she's going

She also, tripped over the BBQ and smashed her face into a door frame, resulting in her getting a black eye and biting through her lip

and the only thing he's said that she's passed on, was being like "and you just started this job too"

(she did not go to the doctor even though people at work (it's me, I'm people) suggested that

and she missed a week of work because she couldn't eat????? and was just out of it, and I'm like

uh, that's a problem. That was a head injury

and she was saying she couldn't eat because she couldn't chew, and I'm like, smoothies exist? Soup? Milkshakes? Melted ice cream?

anything is better than not eating for three days after an injury

and having now typed this all out, I'm rather angry

what an ass.

I hope she figures it out

whuf. yeah

and I'm trying not to have too strong of reactions, but I have been called out before for making faces at egregious things when I didn't mean too, sooo