idk for me personally i’ve never been turned on by porn and even with Real Life People, my brain requires a certain... suspension of disbelief threshold? a “this seems like someone who COULD plausibly be sexually interested in me” threshold, basically —before any kind of sexual fantasy has appeal.
I think there are some parts of this experience that would get labeled demi or gray-ace, depending on who you ask... but I don’t use any of those labels because I don’t find them needful, you know?
conversely, if having that language is helpful to you, then there’s no reason NOT to use it! it’s right there being helpful for talking about yourself and your needs with people you care about!
GODDAMMIT I NEED TO FIND ANOTHER KIND OF FLAG PINS?!
oh okay I'm supposed to find that attractive? let me put the appropriate face on
—before any kind of sexual fantasy has appeal.