<rl>
<depression>

6 has conflicted things now.

I wanted to say this yesterday, but I wanted to focus on Fredday being with us for 8 years yesterday.

But.

Yesterday (6th) it's one month until a year anniversary that my brother passed away.

A month before my birthday.

I used to cling to 6 being a "good day" to try to Fake It Till You Make It thing.

Yesterday (6th) when my mom and I were talking about Fredday's unknown birthday. And how she had been always saying September... which is the birthday month to my brother who passed.

She talked about how "6" is a sad number.

And I joked, "IS IT!? IS IIIITTT?" and she looked at me sad, then laughed because she got my point - my birthday is on the 6th.

But. Nick passed on June 6th. 6/6.

Fredday became family on May 6th. 2016. Lots of 6's.

It was a moment of seeing her ... showing her worry. Her concern.

I kinda teased and got her to laugh, which was nice.

But yeah.

Fredday family May 6th. Brother passed June 6th. My birthday July 6th.

I'm just.

My heart hurts so much right now.