[dead plate spoilers] thinking about ending 1

and how the hanger steak still being bitter was a good choice

cuz it's clear Vince's food is "bad" because he doesnt cook for other people

and this is the one time, in his mind, this was "for" someone else

but it's still bad, cuz in the end it is still selfish. he made so.ething for someone else for his own satisfaction, not to make them happy

and I think that's why he so morose and just let's Rody go. in the other endings he goes wild cuz he still thinks he can salvage things but in e1 it's clear this was doomed and now he knows it

I still think theres a real chance he might try something later: obsession is not that easily turned off

but for a moment theres self awareness and with it crushing depression

and goes hand in hand with Vince being both really down bad for Rody but also not really seeing him as a person

like these ideas should be counter, but for Vincr both are true at once

rody exists only in how he makes Vince feel, and so when things go off script he loses it completely

he can say "killing and cooking someone is disgusting" but also see killing Manon as a fine thing to do- things only matter in so much as Vince currently feels them to matter

and its fucked up but also really sad cuz it's clear he knows something is deeply wrong with him but is incapable of understanding what it is

so just reverts to this manic flailing in desperation. like biting something out of pure frustration

𝗕𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝗩𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲 tbh this is part of why hes getting violent so fast. he recognizes a similarity in it to him and her being happy being this way while he is deeply miserable is driving him into jealous rage

OH THAT'S SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD

it calling him OUT on it too

cuz that means it understands and that Judy makes it worse

^just

he can not have this thing. he can only covet those that do. but people are people and he cant control people- and he IS a fucking control freak and a perfectionist. so when control is inevitably lost what he covets must be destroyed, devoured

it can not be allowed to exist outside his hold. he couldnt bare it