LEGIT THO. As a trauma response I rate RSD -1000/ 10, unless you really like trauma with your trauma. (In which case can recommend with PMS and a side of your parents reminding you last second that you’re a shitty child 👍) .

On tumblr the other day there was an FMK poll for intrusive sleep, RSD, and APD (auditory processing disorder) as an educational post on lesser known cosymptoms of autism and/or adhd and I think a good half of voters chose to kill RSD.

A minority chose to validate theirs instead but imo life partnership to feeling insufficient is not. ...great?

Sending posts from neurominds (which is where I found this) and other IGs (thirtyaf is a good not specifically neurosparkly one) to eachother often in the same room is a good chunk of the household communication.

(I use neurosparkly instead of neurospicy bc 1. Epilepsy! Synapses! ⚡️✨ 2. I’m a wuss about spicy food & I’m not ...spicy🌶️ 3. GLITTER)

and of course there's also option three: no one says anything at all about your behavior but you imagine they're thinking it and so just have the same reaction ~anyway~

working lunars : YEPPPP. And 3a: you get so worked up that you ask them if you did something wrong, they look confused and say ....noooo? and you’re like OH GOD I’M SO ANNOYING maybe now I should apologize at length

that’s the stupidest part! things that aren’t at all about (you, generic) become this cycle of ‘but ...me!’

it's very silly brain behaviour which is why it's useful to be able to stick a label on it. WARNING: THOUGHT UNRELIABLE. HANDLE WITH CAUTION.

I am fully aware that feeling like I’ve done something wrong/I’m prolly barely politely tolerated is The Most Annoying I get along with the constant infodumps, weird jokes and interrupting but I can’t even make myself not do it by reminding myself that’s more annoying

YES ABSOLUTELY

It is very weird in that it’s one of the few things where people are like ‘so we think this behavior is actually a defense mechanism linked to these experiences common to, yknow, mostly but not exclusively neurodivergent kids’
and I’m like ‘yeah no that’s exactly what it is’
most of the time psychology theories don’t click that exactly?

but daaamn if I can’t look at child me and school and my behavior and self image and various events and clock almost exactly when I started realizing a) I was Not Like Other Kids, not in a little, everyone’s different way, but in a way that made most people think I was weird and that I didn’t quite get how not to do, and b) that I hated it

and like

obviously other events made this worse and reinforced it as I got older (and better, too, a few) but.

It’s ....almost WEIRD to remember that I wasn’t at all always that kid. When I was like 5-7 I was cocky as HELL before I ‘figured out’ I was fat and weird and ‘look(ed) crazy’.

It's internalized preemptive social policing in a way and it sucks!!

omg, that's the BEST way of putting it. it DOES suck! especially bc i think both of us (and many many people who have it) are very aware of social policing as a fucking stupid thing most of the time