[tmi.] farts.

I know that I'm lactose intolerant but I'm never going to care enough about it to keep myself from eating ice cream. Three hours later, I cannot fall asleep (even despite sleep meds!) because my farts are practically blasting my hips up and off the bed.

I am the world's saddest little rocket.

I fucking spat at "saddest little rocket"

wheezes

what about those fart pills

uhh gas-x?

cannot stress enough that it sounds like my butthole is singlehandedly trying to produce its best estimation of the seven heavenly trumpets that herald the end times in Revelations

Louis Armstrong would be proud.

have i told you lately that i love the way you have with words

I've had nights like that, I'm sorry hon

I adore you

Yrxjvjb you're my national treasure

biz I woke up with megafarts and immediately thought ”i an the world's saddest little rocket”