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Wait wait wait, there was a live action Tekken movie? In 2011??
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i guess i'm watching this
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ah geez this is giving me 90s flashbacks to the street fighter and double dragon movies
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im not sure if that's a good thing or not yet
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eugh this soundtrack is edgy late oughts trailer park rock
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okay so apparently corporations took over the world and the Mishima zaibatsu is just the tekken corporation and they took over america and i guess heihachi is a fascist dictator? Time will tell but that's my understanding so far
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i am less than five minute in so far, so.
𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽
it's so bad, but it has Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa in it so there's something enjoyable to watch, lol
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i mean, from the trailers at least the characters i saw were on model, so that's something
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i think the techno-fascist tekken police are wearing kendo armor
𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽
the fights also aren't badly done, from what I recall
𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽
it holds the distinct... honor? of being one of only about 40 films with a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes though, lol
𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽
and they made a prequel too
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0%, owch. i mean, it seems a little generic so far but that seems particularly harsh - oh god, really?
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i guess this explains why i hadnt heard of it
𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽
yeah they made another movie in which they recast Kazuya, brought back Heihachi and Bryan, and used no other characters from the games
𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽
zero
𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽
unless there are cameos I don't know about
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i will never understand why it's so hard to make video game movies
i will never understand why it's so hard to make video game movies
𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽
it's not, studios just rarely put the effort in
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is kazuya the guy that looks like satan?
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or is that supposed to be lee?
𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽
like, realtalk? the first Sonic movie is such a basic-ass plot and diverges wildly from the games, but the people making it clearly cared about the franchise and making something fun that fans and general audiences could enjoy. so it worked!
𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽
I think that is Kazuya, yeah
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aaahh, jackhammers = jacks, okay, i get it
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well, jun was okay while it lasted. honestly, this is kinda hammy and weird but no worse than some of the other attempts at tekken movies ive seen so far
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kazuya A) being an obedient son and B) having a harem, both do feel really weird
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oh god yoshimitsu's in this how are they going to murder my boy
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also i can ignore it in the games but they're really just gonna let him rock on up with a sword, huh
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i guess raven's ninjutsu mastery is just sittin on a dude beating his face in
TC
Oh yeah there was
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again, im halfway through and this isn't terrible
TC
I remember watching I think...Spoony review it back in the day
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it's certainly not 0% terrible yet at any rate
TC
how about that one girl with the whale tail low rider pants
TC
forget which character she's supposed to be
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Christie?
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that's pretty much conservative by how she is in the games
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i feel like this would benefit from the character using their signature fighting styles more meaningfully or recognizably. Even the stances at least. Eddie's is obvious enough, sure, but again, Raven just kinda beat the snot out of him rather than doing any kind of ninja martial arts stuff
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and jin's karate keeps degenerating into MMA kind of stuff
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also it's weird having eddie and christie in the same movie but completely unrelated to each other (apparently)
TC
Yeah it's something
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i guess im just glad king's not in this. he got out of that animated movie i watched a while back without getting his character assassinated but that movie also just wasn't great
TC
you wanna hear something funnier
TC
There's a 2009 live action KOF movie where Ray Parker is Rugal
TC
Ray Park*
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i was gonna say
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ray parker jr's dad's probably dead
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and also probably not an actor
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i don't know KOF that well but i can imagine that wouldn't have gone great
TC
I'd say he's the one actor that's really off and it's clear they just wanted him cause they were trying to find martial artists/actors and instead of buff guy who can do axe kicks we got
TC
short man who beats the shit out of people with hockey stick cause he's Darth Maul
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yeah since the 90s we don't really have as many martial artist actors
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plenty of FIGHTER actors, i guess
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lots of wrestlers
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but martial arts haven't been that big since the 90s
𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽
these days you can just hire stunt performers and use effects to make them look more like the actor
TC
you could just...hire the stunt performers and have actors dub over them
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it IS weird having christie as the main female lead in this movie but i guess it was probably the closest option. i feel like xiangyu even might have been a more of choice. speaking of, there was an animated movie starring her released around the same time as this apparently, i'll have to look into that.
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xiaoyu* i'll never get her name right
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i think xiangyu is from soul caliber
𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽
the CG animated movie is bizarre at times, lol, but it definitely lines up way more with the vibe of the games (obviously, since same creative team and all)
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soul CALIBURand Xianghua
𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽
ffff I was about to say xD
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tekken being bizarre is fine, there's a boxing kangaroo and a bear
𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽
I mean, Xiaoyu and Alisa are the main characters of the movie, so
𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽
you have a robot girl who can remove her own head and a freaking panda following Xiaoyu
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all of my favorite fighting game character are wacky cartoon people
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Faust, Yoshimitsu, robo-ky, peacock, tao
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i guess yoshimitsu's more conceptually wacky but he's pretty goofy more often than not
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okay i WILL say (still watching the movie btw) that Jin having romance subplots at all feels pretty weird
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man, they're gonna have bryan fury and yoshimitsu in here and they're not gonna be related at all either are they
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kazuya really be looking like some anton lavey steven segal mashup
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okay i guess we mortal kombat now
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alright, that was about what i expected. not great, but passable