Lauren's Adventures in Online Dating Part ???

So I'm not seriously looking, but I did download Bumble again.

90% of my matches are Conservative gym bros, which ... nah.

But this takes the cake: the dude's profile consists of one sentence which is 'I am an aggressive man'.

Steering SO CLEAR.

wow. how alluring. who could pass that up.

Me: Wow, yikes.

Rant the Second.

This guy is a pretty well known songwriter - I ask what songs he's written. He says haha too much to name and then immediately says 'you look curvy, are you'?

I mean, that's a nice way of putting it but like. Nice segue.

'What are you doing tonight?' - why, do u think I'm going to agree to meet a complete stranger? Oh, buddy, no.

We've exchanged three messages WHY on Earth would I give you my phone number???

This guy's display name is Bullets. Bullets! Yeah, nah.