Quinneapolis
some thoughts from evil dead 2013
Quinneapolis
- Eric, the guy who says the words, is one of the least self-aware movie horror movie characters i've ever met
Quinneapolis
the dude finds a package bound in barbed wire
Quinneapolis
gets out his wire cutters, opens it up
Quinneapolis
finds a book bound in human skin
Quinneapolis
filled with satanic drawings and scrawled messages in ink and blood
Quinneapolis
saying things like DON'T SAY IT DON'T HEAR IT DON'T THINK IT
Quinneapolis
and THEY OPEN THE GATE
Quinneapolis
surrounding a passage in the book that's been scratched out
Quinneapolis
without even pausing for a beat, he pulls out a piece of paper and does that thing where you rub a pencil tip over it to reveal text underneath
Quinneapolis
to figure out what the scratched-out words are
Quinneapolis
and says each one out loud to himself as he reads it
Quinneapolis
like bro you had SO many warnings to not heed
Quinneapolis
anyway Rise was compared unfavorably to this a lot but I still think Rise was scarier
skerple
clearly this evil artifact needed a wombat
Quinneapolis
a wombat, you say
skerple
Digger would have prevented this nonsense
Quinneapolis
aah yes
Quinneapolis
so the premise of the movie is that they're in a cabin in the woods because central character Mia is trying to go cold turkey on cocaine and needs to be isolated from places where she can get cocaine
Quinneapolis
she then ends up getting possessed, dying, being turned into a deadite, then being buried alive and then dug up and resuscitated with a car battery
Quinneapolis
then her boyfriend explodes and she has to stop the apocalypse
Quinneapolis
and like... i dunno, man
Quinneapolis
if she wants to put off breaking off the cocaine for a couple weeks i'd get it
skerple
honestly yeah
Love Snake Kaja
After all that she deserves a little drugs as a treat.
Quinneapolis
if anyone has ever deserved a little cocaine it's Mia
Quinneapolis
she also had to tear off her own hand, like jesus
Gabiluzbad
The Airplane! Gag
Gabiluzbad
“I picked a bad day to quit cocaine”
dragon time
I don't know if this plurk makes me want to watch evil dead or makes me want to watch Airplane
A Grinning DM
I haven’t seen the movie, but the guy ignoring all the obvious warnings is hilarious and seems very appropriate in tone to the series