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TV Producer Dies; Meets God And Is Shown The Light

“ It was so foreign to what I perceived God was or could be. That was so foreign to my inner voice, the echoes that ripple through our head from the lies that are told to us as children about our inadequacy and our unworthiness and our lack of value and I recognized yeah I’m loved. The God sees me as a miracle.
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And maybe more important is that it’s not just me, it’s that He recognizes you as a miracle. And that, God doesn’t just know us. God doesn’t just like us. God doesn’t just love us. But, the Creator of the universe is madly in love with you. ”
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“ Every tear you ever shed, He’s shed with you. Every hope you ever hoped, He’s hoped with you. Every dream you ever dreamed, He’s dreamed with you. And He’s been cheering you every, every second and every breath of your life. That connectedness needless to say overwhelmed me. ”
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嗯,技術上來説,十七歲那年失血將近 4?0 c.c. 並沒有帶來徹底擺脫自我意識的出體經驗,在那當下莫名有種忽然之間拔高抽離逾兩、三公尺的欣快感,平和愉悅自由輕盈,整個人一點也不害怕地站在原地瞧著家人著急忙慌拿來好幾條浴巾試圖止血,好端端地任憑擺佈而且完全沒感覺到疼痛,從頭到尾面無表情但似乎有另一個我 笑吟吟地低頭俯視著客廳裡發生的所有事情。
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當下的我瞧著週遭一片忙亂禁不住覺得有點好笑:只不過是一小潭鮮血而已,就讓它流出來不好嗎,溫暖的體液奔流直下的感覺還挺舒服呀 .... 全然意識不到有何必要努力止血,要是流光了也沒什麼不好。

那個片刻確實沒有任何一絲懼怕、甚至從容得近乎安詳,回想起來雖然因為後續麻醉記憶模糊,仍有一股難以描述卻十分篤定的平靜寧和,我要回去了,這世間再沒有事物能傷害我。
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我也不曉得自己是怎麼知道這些的,反正 打從很小的時候就不曾對死亡本身有過懼怕,我所畏懼的最糟結果一直都是 面臨死亡之際處於心靈不得自由的狀態、遭受誤導或是意志消沈而背叛自己尚未真正明瞭的信念 .... 雖然幼稚園時的我還沒辦法用清晰的言語將這些知曉 描述出來,現下也沒能找到最恰當的節奏和韻律,也許仍要花費好幾趟人生才得以臻至完全,但我知道 選擇自殺必定會導致截然不同的覺受,幾乎不再可能擁有當時那份完美無瑕的寧靜平和 .... 除非有人願意 付出翻倍的心血重新擔負起原先獲致應許的那副十字架。
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