So last Friday I had a really bad mh episode and I'd be lying if I said I was completely okay with the reasons why now, but at least I'm functioning better. The underlying problems however...
Uh, the tldr is that my job is at risk and it's not just for periodically being late sometimes anymore. Apparently my work performance is not doing well, even though I'm very frustrated by the fact that I thought I have been asking for help when I need it and learning from my mistakes... Which apparently I'm asking too much questions that I "should know
know after a year of working here." and while I get what they're saying, I didn't think it was that bad? But it just makes me not want to ask for help more because it feels like I'm being told to ask for help when I need it, and when I do I get chastised for doing so like "you should know this already."
So that's stressful... Idk if there's another job around here that I'd be able to get that pays this well if I do lose it... My only options would probably be fast food places that don't want to go back to and hotels. I wouldn't mind going back to a hotel, but there are at least 3 of them I would not go back to because I worked at two already and one I tried
To work at, but then the manager at the time burned me on that, which makes me refuse to bother now. And the worst thing is... Most of the hotels here (we don't have many. Small town) are owned by the same owner, who I do not have any respect for anymore. (he owned 2 of the ones I worked at so far)
And then there's the matter of moving both in FFXIV and in real life. I've gotten most of the stuff I wanted for the medium house and moved over, but I have spent the last week and a half (if not longer) grinding for mats and crafting stuff. Or asking friends to make what I couldn't. I have also gotten a lot of my master craft books. I did wander around my
New ward to see what people have done (they're all very pretty houses), hoping to run into "neighbors" because my small ward was dead. I ran into an FC at some point and we got to talking. Made some friends and joined them since the random fc I was invited to a few days ago lives up to their name. They were the Sleepwalkers and man it was DEAD. I saw maybe
We were talking housing things and the mention of wanting more exteriors came up. I commented how I'd love the onsen one, but I didn't want to pay around 2m or more for it. Yesterday the fc leader I was talking with sent it in my mail ;_;
Which was really nice of her. I told her to lmk if she needed any mats for it but she never answered me and just had it made for me. She was really happy to find a new neighbor actually roaming around.
So I'm fairly content with housing in game, if not suffering for content because all I've been doing is gathering and crafting... Or working on master books and crafter job quests that I've neglected to finally get manipulation rofl
But irl... I have a move in deadline looming over my head and it didn't happen last month as expected, but I'm expected to be in there in maybe a week? And I'm freaking out because I still have a lot to pack and move over there and that doesn't seem like much time.
I would have had time if I actually stayed on top of it months ago and focused it and I do want toove in eventually, I just... Whenever I think about it, I'd rather get on and work on fictional moving over RL moving because the hassle...
So now I have to worry about that and I don't want to hiatus again when I already tech did it for Jan. I do have ac anyway rofl aside from one comment I can get real quick. I just know that my mh has dipped a lot this month and I've been trying to have mh days that seem to keep happening??
So now I'm going to have to buckle down on that more and ground myself off the computer at all until it's done, but also work on tags to keep that up. I'm going to try calling to set up internet today for the house to have in before I move in technically. And some bills to pay. Which also I stress over when gestures at job status.
And then on pretendy times, I need to work out stuff for the wedding with ami because it slipped my mind. And there's also finalizing the revenytes and portable Teleporters that have also slipped my mind. Making a mental note to remind myself.
I think that's most of it, aside from just making time to catch up with friends and battling the never ended feeling like people just put u with me to be nice, even though I know that's just my brain being rude...
I'm always tired anymore (both mentally and physically), but it has been especially bad this month... And I wish I can say it's just been a mad month when I'm certain it's not going to get any better in Feb more than likely as I'm reminded that I may as well become a cat lady as Single's Awareness Day is coming up.
Everyone who does rp ships with me are my dates for that day, because my fictional character s have more of a chance than I do to be happy and in love with someone.
Whether or not I get to everything (as always) idk. But I'm going to try. Packing may or may not happen, but it needs to and I'm going to try to enforce that specifically today when I'm home
Oh I also failed to mention that insurance on the house is like over 1k for the year. How much I need to pay my dad back for getting it though I'm not sure. And on top of that is paying off a bill form last year taxes, even though I could have sworn I did that on time last year, on top of whatever this years will be.
Paying billsSetting up internet hopefullyTagsAC