trying to decide if I'm going to work holiday party tonight

pros:
- I like my co-workers
- free fancy dinner and drinks
- owner might give money gifts

cons:
- it's a fucking half hour drive away and twice that if I take transit
- I can't drink
- same time as my FC's party
- I'm having whiny baby syndrome about it

hm I asked if anybody could give me a ride and the first person to offer is a coworker I haven't exchanged more than about 5 lines of conversation with and I just emotionally backflipped out the window so that may be a sign

I want!! to have this experience!! but I'm crybaby seal about actually doing it and about having to spend an hour total in a car with somebody I barely know to do it

okay the more I think about it the more I think I am just not up to it tonight so, cancels

sighs deeply and argues with well-intentioned but bullheaded owner publicly on the group chat, I guesd