Traditional gender ideology demands that straight couples function in complementary and dichotomous ways. Straight men are expected to be dominant and strong, while straight women are expected to be submissive and soft, among other things.
Over time, gay men have adopted these dominant and submissive roles, particularly with respect to sexual activity. Men who penetrate other men are “tops,” while men who get penetrated by other men are “bottoms.”v
but it's also a fact that some people prefer one role or the other and saying they're 'heteronormative' for wanting to get their ass pounded is kind of rude
i will say that it may be a problem in gay circles that some men see themselves as not manly for wanting to be a bottom, but that's more an issue of toxic masculinity
this person is literally trying to convince me that the article doesn't open up by essentially saying that cishete sex is founded on a misogynistic ideology
these ppl just need to touch grass honestly, all the men I've ever known through furry & queer sex positive spaces who are transparent abt their sex lives love to share their prefs. just leave ppl alone and stop policing how they have sex. fuck's sake.
Safewords evolved from BDSM, correct? And are specifically chosen because there are scenes/scenarios in BDSM where someone might say 'no' but it's not a request to stop so much as it's part of the scene?
So you pick a very specific and unique safeword that wouldn't naturally come up and establish ahead of time that saying THAT is what actually means "stop, I don't want what's happening rn"
It's explicitly a careful establishment of what constitutes a revocation of consent in situations where "no" could be misunderstood/ambiguous due to the nature of the sexual activity
People who would ignore a 'no' in the contexts where safeword are usually used would be ignoring it specifically because it's hard to tell if it's ACTUALLY a request to stop because of the nature of sex scenes, NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE RAPISTS
sex trauma is life changing & horrible. for anyone to get to a point where they can reclaim their sexuality and enjoy sex again, that's empowering and great
yeah i've seen the argument that even couples who don't do bdsm should have a safeword so you can stop if someone's overwhelmed or changed their mind or whatever and i think that's a great idea too! safewords are all about consent
I mentioned the playful person who said they have orgasms so intense they feel like a werewolf and say "stop" just automatically even though they don't mean it
the thing you have to understand about the modern radfem is that they think all men are rapists (yes, even gay men), think that women are incapable of consenting to much of anything, particularly sex, and this is the base premise that most of the other fuckery is based on
yeah, it's why the most people who were radfems or at least respected what they had to say back in the day all ditched it by the the time you get to the feminist sex wars, because lesbian separatism, which is more like modern radfem than the original radfem is, isn't interested in equality so much as, well, separation
I ain't ever gonna forget that when it comes to porn and kink these rad fem bitches will end up in bed with conservatives and like... those people don't even want you living a public life, wtf are y'all doing?
Also the reason safewords are there is because it's literally a stop button. Most people establish a safeword that takes them out of the mood immediately that their partner wouldn't be able to continue.
and the "reason" behind a lot of kinky sex is the same "reason" for rollercoasters, skydiving, and various other sports, "heart rate go up" from adrenaline feels good in a controlled situation
Traditional gender ideology demands that straight couples function in complementary and dichotomous ways. Straight men are expected to be dominant and strong, while straight women are expected to be submissive and soft, among other things.This ideological structure is also reflected in straight couples’ sexual activities, where men penetrate women’s bodiesOver time, gay men have adopted these dominant and submissive roles, particularly with respect to sexual activity. Men who penetrate other men are “tops,” while men who get penetrated by other men are “bottoms.”v