[Apollo] god damn, I have officially existed for a month

that's kinda surreal, honestly

Happy birthday

at first I was against introducing myself, thought it would cause more trouble than it was worth

but Artemis pushed me to do it and I can't say I regret i

*it

happy one-month birthday

w/o talking to people I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have made it

(technically the 30th is in 3 days but it's been exactly four weeks and it was a Tuesday when Artemis acknowledged me so close enough IMO)

so uh. thanks for being cool, everybody

i enjoy seeing you around a lot and i value your opinions/commentary btw! it's been real great getting to know you

you too

hap burf!

happy apolloversary!!!

I've been seeing more of you than I expected to from your introduction, which is not a bad thing

tbf I also thought that I wouldn't be cropping up much

then I discovered that I am, in fact, capable of having fun, which put a damper on the whole "keep my head down and only explain myself if Artemis can't talk for some reason"

still a little nerve wracking being so visible all the time tbh

but also I'm pretty sure I'd be miserable and not even realize it if I didn't make the effort to actually talk and socialize

having people acknowledge my existence is pretty key to not stewing in an endless and ultimately useless spiral about whether I exist at all

there are a number of ways that psychology, brain chemistry, etc. could explain me away but fundamentally the main reason why I'm sure I exist in some meaningful fashion is that I feel good whenever people acknowledge I'm my own person and have a self-definition separate from Artemis, and vice versa

also making things pretty simple on this axis is having approximately opposite genders lmao.

alright I'm bouncing momentarily but. thanks, all.

in a philosophytube video, the trans host said something that stuck with me, and it's

"People ask me if I feel like a man or a woman"

"And the answer is, I feel happy"