Would be super cool if my body stopped being a dick and put the pain on pause long enough for me to sleep. It’s too late for melatonin, pot is barely toning it down, cbd ointment is doing nothing. I want to break things. Also just realized Saturday nights tend to be my worst nights. I know I always get PEM Saturdays because they’re my most active days but...

This is the first time I’m making the connection to it being an especially bad pain day. I was not athletic or anything before but I could be a functional level of active that didn’t keep me from enjoying stuff just because I couldn’t physically do it

I’m trying hard to not spiral but this really just sucks. I keep thinking I’m adjusting to this new normal and then I have a day like today. I did a once over walk through Five Below and it wore me out so much that I couldn’t walk around the super market after.

I have thus app called Deep Meditate. I find it useful when pain keeps me awake or unable to walk or sit. I like it because it doesn't include a lot of religion or new thought/new age with the mindfulness

(((Cajsa))) : mindfulness is a big thing in my program and I did try. It’s a little helpful but it’s not 100% effective all the time.

On really bad nights I take Xanax. I’m careful to not make a habit of it. I’m only just now at the end of a 30 dose script from February.