this plurk is both a shoutout to everyone indulging me on the event and also an apology for how longwinded and convoluted all of Lusamine’s answers are
when you are as broken and unwell of a person as she is i guess your truths kind of stop being clear-cut...but also her narrator is just me when i get a simple question about her on tumblr and wind up answering with an essay's worth of meta because i have too many thoughts
"what is love to you?" well she has an Okay-ish grasp on what love means, she just.....is so bad at expressing it. she's like well yes of course i love my children unconditionally (proceeds to act without any regard to their feelings and then disown them for "betraying" her and "rejecting her love")
"she’s not good at telling how people feel, is she?" well she CAN be because she's a socialite trained to sniff out insecurities who loves manipulating people to get what she wants...she just gets such bad tunnel vision that she stops caring how people feel and then when she experiences consequences for that she’s like...
could it have been my fault for acting callously out of self-absorption...? no...it is that the children are wrong and evil and were conspiring against me all along!!! (genuinely unaware that Lillie still loves and cares about her despite everything)
one of my favorite fanfics featuring her has a scene where another character describes her as a child who rips the heads off her dolls and then cries about it and that's probably the most succinct way to put it
silly-vanilly
: i'm still laughing over the CLUTCH move of Beat not taking part in the event and missing all of this.....so close to ruining his birthday
and now just......SURPRISE MY CHILD...I GOT YOU...A PUPPY!!!!!!! see i'm a nice person please do not ask anyone about what they saw in the stage dimension please oh god (she is gripping his shoulders so tightly they are bleeding like that one meme)
i imagine she will be just a little bit off for a while after this event...acting uncharacteristically jittery but also Extra Nice to compensate for the assortment of Bad Feelings now floating around in her brain
it will be a combination of her occasional inklings of guilt re: her past getting stronger now that some people have actually forcibly pointed out aspects of her bullshit to her + her feeling violated/misrepresented (even if it's all true actually) + her feeling like even Ryslig, her latest sexy monster paradise, is becoming inhospitable toward her
a surprise tool that will help us later