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[mh]
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yall the brain buzz situation has been. bad. lately
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and by lately i mean like maybe months but what the fuck is time anyway
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but it is like. i am falling down on simple tasks like cleaning. feeding myself. that sort of thing
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obviously work is going pretty good which is weird that i have the spoons for work but literally nothing else tho as I type that out now it seems less weird
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where are all my spoons? they are at my job
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i have left them there
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also like. i have never really had a problem with body image? but recently it is not good
terravesty
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like part of the reason i have been clothes shopping the past few days is i just do not feel good in my clothes. a lot of things are starting to not fit so well
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looking at myself in pictures from teh family vacation and I dont like it
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and like. i am generally around my heaviest weight that i've been. i'd hit this early in 2020 but I managed to get it back down during quarantine
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but then I fell off of working out and going climbing and it is back up
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and the fact that I am not doing real well on stuff like. dishes. and cooking. isn't helpng that a ton
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because then it becomes like. oh, there's nothing to eat in the housee. i guess i'll just Not Eat. which isn't good!
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it's really not good
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and i don't like it but every time im like "well maybe i should just get meal delivery or something" i look at how much it costs and then I don't wanna spend the money
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.....and my cat just horked on the carpet.
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anyway this is just to say that i am kind of struggling righ tnow
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like probably a more than normal amount of struggle
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and honestly i don't know what the fuck to do about it other than maybe see if I can get my brain drugs adjusted
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cuz otherwise im probably gonna wind up buried in dirty clothes and dishes and nearly passing out in public
terravesty
Not eating is not good '^' I'm sorry things is hard, friend
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it's very not good but i keep doing it
お茶の時間にしおぜ？
I also feel this friend, so know you aren't alone. These are trying times.
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it's very trying and i feel like i am failing
nice guy goose
nice guy goose
IT'S TRYING 
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you're not failing, you're living through year three of a work-from-home situation and striving to create new/normal routines in all of it. That's hard shit even for someone with a chemically balanced brain
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mmh
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these are true things
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mumbles sometimes i wish that life was less like a violent sine curve and more like a gentle logarithmic growth
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i miss math sometimes
yoicks!
lays on
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yoicks!
: lays with in the fields of existential angst
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literally typing to you from the floor with the dog rn
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sometimes you just gotta
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sometimes. yeah
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i at least put a bra on which is step one to going down the street to the grocery store
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world harsh and cold, dog solid and warm
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(and yeah I also cannot get any real adulting done without a bra on. social conditioning's a bitch)
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dog soft and full of good thumps
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cat also soft and full of soothing bees
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get yourself a dog you can play like a set of bongos
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that's true, bencat is being bees on my ankle
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: oh i will go out without a bra on sometimes. i just. i need one in this particular moment because
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benbeee
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bra = structure
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yes
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bra also = i don't have to worry about my nips showing
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which is like. apparently a thing that we are also moving beyond as a society i guess???
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i continue to see a nonzero number of women wandering around in crop tops just fully nipping out and i feel old when i see it
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anyway I'm going to get groceries. I also put my gym membership on hold and scheduled a dermatologist appointment for next week
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when I get home I'm going to try to at least do a load of laundry
comfy drow cave
I'm sorry. I really do feel this. Everything is in a really rough place, and I'm sorry it's syphoning your life force rn
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it is real bad
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i did at least manage to go out and get some frozen burritos, frozen meals, and cereal
espresso witch
I'm sorry things are rough, we definitely need to reschedule Elvis and shopping!
y yo a ti, cas
woof this is real! i am sorry the brain worms are bad, and i love you. <3 <3 i am glad you got groceries