VIRGIN-SENPAI
[MH][Paranoia issues][RP adjacent]
VIRGIN-SENPAI
huhrbrlurbullruulbulgh
VIRGIN-SENPAI
i wonder if there's wank circulating about me in places I don't look / can't see
VIRGIN-SENPAI
I've been getting randomly abandoned on threads and it's really weird
VIRGIN-SENPAI
so of course ocd brain goes for conspiracy
VIRGIN-SENPAI
been dealing with these thoughts for like a week now and I'm GETTING TIRED OF IT
VIRGIN-SENPAI
I waited a week and gave a friendly nudge, and have just gotten... silence? It's just really weird to me. so I wonder if there's drama happening somewhere, or something like that, and I just don't know because I don't engage in those parts of rp culture
VIRGIN-SENPAI
but another part of my brain also knows that I'm just paranoid, and have a history of paranoia, and this is just. how the otter brain do
VIRGIN-SENPAI
but I still hate it
VIRGIN-SENPAI
of course I want to seek reassurance, that's totally my urge, but I also know not to do that with strangers
VIRGIN-SENPAI
blururrbrulbuhghulgblurgh
VIRGIN-SENPAI
as for WHAT the wank would be about, idk, I'm a fucking moron, it's totally possible I did the wrong thing somewhere. or the wank is just from ANCIENT SINS which I admit I definitely have.
VIRGIN-SENPAI
VIRGIN-SENPAI
okay I think I'm done
VIRGIN-SENPAI
(oh, and the thread abandoning thing happened with three threads all at generally the same time, this isn't a one time issue)
Keepingwatch
I totally understand the thread dropping and paranoia bit. it's a hard thing to rangle. bakerstreet is especially hard to find someone reliable.
Keepingwatch
I've had it happen and it sucks but I've learned not to get hopes up especially with bakerstreet
Keepingwatch
I'm also sorry I've been slow on my end. I'm just having motivation issues with Levi. it's not you or the cast and game
Keepingwatch
Hopefully you can find an rp partner that matches your pace and needs.
VIRGIN-SENPAI
Oh no it's not you or anyone in VR really! just memes mostly. I know if wank happened in VR (like someone outside the game was trying to smear me) mods/friends would protect me
VIRGIN-SENPAI
I've been there a long time with a clean record of behavior, so I'm not worried there at least
Keepingwatch
yeah. vr is pretty chill and they are good people
Keepingwatch
I just know I've been there and it's hard
VIRGIN-SENPAI
yeah, I'm just sensitive to it too because bad brain issues
VIRGIN-SENPAI
this pattern of behavior is really, really normal for me
VIRGIN-SENPAI
or typical. it's typical of me
VIRGIN-SENPAI
I'm just glad I'm self aware enough to recognize it and not totally flip out and do something stupid
Keepingwatch
yeah
Keepingwatch
/hugs
VIRGIN-SENPAI
thanks 
Joy
Hugs. For what its worth sometimes bakerstreet is like that though I know how demoralizing that can be
𝓟𝓮𝓸𝓷𝔂🌸𝓟𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓼
Yeah, might be stuff going on with them, not you.
VIRGIN-SENPAI
yeah, I'm totally aware of that. and I'm glad I can at least see stuff like that now. I used to not be able to
VIRGIN-SENPAI
it's taken a lot of therapy to get to the person I am today lol
sᴋᴜʟʟʏ ᴊ ɢʀᴀᴠᴇs
