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mildly rp neg I guess tho not anything currently just musing on also not having a forever blorbo
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I SAY NEG JUST CUZ I WILL BE SAYING THINGS THAT I THINK ARE [DOWNER ENERGY] but I don't feel bad about any of it rn so disclaimer that this is not coming from a place of current unhappiness
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I think I am just not emotionally equipped to HAVE a forever blorbo based on Ibara and Reim experiences cuz if I do not get the same level of fever pitch in feedback as I am emitting I will just wither and die
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but also people WERE constantly very excited for Harpy and it just made me get overambitious and overwhelmed and fall on my face over and over anyway
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I THINK THE CLOSEST I HAVE GOTTEN TO A FOREVER BLORBO
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IS URIEL
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WHO I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE APPED TO IMEEJI AT LEAST AND POSSIBLY ALSO OTHER GAMES
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EXCEPT EVEN THOUGH I'VE RECOVERED HIS ICONS I'M LIKE I can't upload them or I'll break all his old threads bc I don't remember the icon keywords
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which is foolish as the threads are already broken anyway due to the icons not being uploaded
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but I think part of the trick with how I could eternally brainrot on Uriel is
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when he did things I thought were very engaging
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I often did not share them or want people to comment on them
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because I found them really embarrassing.
mitzi
can you make a second account
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he was so melodramatic and creepy.
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mitzi
: I can but decomposed is such a good username.
mitzi
decomposed_too
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AEHTUOGH
God of Brats
katy here to save the day
mitzi
i'm sorry you're also a part of the "suffering about forever blorbo/lack of forever blorbo" party
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anyway I would like to specify also that people DID like Reim very much and were very excited for him so I feel especially stupid about how down I got about that because it was just that I was so obsessed a very large and respectable amount of attention was still not enough somehow
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so. that level of blorbo affection is dangerous for me.
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this makes Ibara similarly dangerous tho at least I have the excuse that there were legitimately only like two other people interested/engaging with him in heartrate so I can say I just got normally discouraged like a normal person
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Yuki is at a much safer but still sustainable blorbo level where I am not actually really desperate to get people to consume my canons and talk to me about him and app his cr
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I will be very happy to have Heatchi's Tohru but castmate is a bonus and not a deep-seated primal need
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however I can still talk about him on plurk for over 100 comments after doing like 2 tags
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the other thing working against Uriel's favor when it comes to potential forever blorbo status is he does get sort of dull to play after a while
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I need a balance somewhere in the middle of Harpy amount of stuff to do and Uriel amount of stuff to do
eyjaberry 🐑(🦁)
for me forever blorbo does include like [sustainability] and not necessarily like [high octane explosion of feelings]
(Eat the candy)
i cycle through blorbos tbh... i dont know if i can have a forever forever blorbo (especially one that i would be playing, as opposed to Just Enjoying Them)
eyjaberry 🐑(🦁)
like i am a lot quieter abt amks brainrot now but trust that it is within me forever
God of Brats
i think i consider characters forever blorbos if i'm invested enough in them to name my cats after them
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God of Brats
: THIS IS THE ONE TRUE LITMUS TEST
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eyjaberry 🐑(🦁)
: see I feel like in my head for a long time I was just imagining like
tandemarie
(but lovingly)
(but lovingly)
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[the power of blorbo love can pull you through anything]
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BC IT HAS SOMETIMES WORKED OUT THAT WAYISH FOR ME IN THE PAST
raw egg hell
handshake
raw egg hell
i feel this
目を閉じたらどう？
I think reprising old characters is stupid difficult but I think the way we approach rp characters and think about character energy levels is pretty different. But for me, I think being able to think of things to do or having some solid cr rather than a lot of cr are the most important for sustainability
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how much longer did I hang onto Ardashir than I should have.
eyjaberry 🐑(🦁)
forever blorbos do not have the strength to do that but in my case if my forever blorbo can't do it then probably no one can
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but if a discouraging thing happens with a character in their run I feel bad with them and don't want to reprise them for a while
eyjaberry 🐑(🦁)
see: me failing out of aurora multiple times with amks and then deciding that my brain couldn't do it actually
eyjaberry 🐑(🦁)
tho also amks for me is like a weird instance of forever blorbo just bc like even if his normal flavor is one that i am maybe like discouraged from rping for a while i can always au him and [opens wallet 24597238947 aus fall out]
eyjaberry 🐑(🦁)
i would also consider thorfinn to be one of my forever blorbos but i am SO picky about where i rp him bc of the nature of his character arc + i might never even rp him again just bc the last character arc i had with him was good enough that idk if i can ever top it so i'm discouraged from trying
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目を閉じたらどう？
: I also prioritize some solid cr over a lot of cr which is why a lot of my characters are chosen or outright designed to be more insular but then the problem is if that cr drops for reasons out of my control then I am extra sad
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actually I would like to go back in time and ask my past self what the fuck kind of cope juice I was on when I played Yuukie
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who I basically sustained alone in a teamgame for who the fuck knows how long
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I DON'T THINK MY YUUKIE BLORBO AFFECTION LEVELS WERE EVEN THAT HIGH MAYBE I'VE JUST FORGOTTEN HOW HIGH THEY ACTUALLY WERE
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WAS IT KOKONOE SAKURA'S FACE????????
eyjaberry 🐑(🦁)
it might have been
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a big problem I have with rp in general is that I love characters with a built in reveal
目を閉じたらどう？
Oh yeah I def feel you on that though I've powered through anyway once or twice but it is bad feeling and basically like oh I'm back to square one now
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but the reveal isn't satisfying if no work has to get put into it
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but I get so impatient in the getting to know you stage.
eyjaberry 🐑(🦁)
love 2 play a mystery box character
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AND THEN SOMETIMES THEY MYSTERY BOX SO HARD 90% OF ARDASHIR'S CR FINDS OUT HE'S A KING FROM HIS GRADUATION POST
eyjaberry 🐑(🦁)
crying
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I am jealous of people who can just pull the layers back faster because I am simply physically incapable. I try to speedrun to the good parts every day of my life and then somehow my fingers type more vague allusions again
eyjaberry 🐑(🦁)
i will admit as a mystery box character lover even if my cr never gets past the getting to know you stage / never open the mystery box i'm just like
eyjaberry 🐑(🦁)
sparkles
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Yuki is at least doing me the favor of leaking his bad personality every so often
eyjaberry 🐑(🦁)
but also it's amks that's my mystery box character so for me it's like
eyjaberry 🐑(🦁)
[if i manage to somehow pull off playing amks such that NO ONE EVER FINDS OUT ANYTHING about all his layers then that's fine bc he literally did 60 years secrecy unskippable]
eyjaberry 🐑(🦁)
my point is mystery box reveal denial is my fetish so it's fine for me but idk how to live if it's not fine
eyjaberry 🐑(🦁)
idk how to live without this fetish
🍊🍊🍊 clementide
me trying to slowburn sprezzatura's insanity, i get that inability to hand it out a bit at a time
🍊🍊🍊 clementide
i want the payoff NOW
目を閉じたらどう？
Unfortunately I play characters who love loud breakdowns and oversharing. I admire your subtlety
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sometimes the way I cope is to have the outside of the box just also be insane. for example the inside of Harpy's mystery box was her deep-seated resentment and general antisocial tendencies and desire to delete her emotions while the outside was an extremely assertive ambitious busybody who loved to do murders
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yog and Mischa are much better at the long con than me I have to flip out and stab someone at like the first opportunity whenever I can
eyjaberry 🐑(🦁)
i admire stabbing at the first opportunity