Quinneapolis
A confession
Quinneapolis
You know Bayformers
Quinneapolis
the transformer shots in those movies, while they transform
Quinneapolis
and the movie is just covering the entire screen with incomprehensible mechanical details moving around nonsensically
Quinneapolis
and they all look the same?
Quinneapolis
I love those
Quinneapolis
my dirty secret is that I think the bayformers look really cool
Tyra
it's not nonsensical, in the first few movies ILM gave everyone a planned out transformation scheme
Tyra
it's only around age of extinction that they turned into bullshit
Quinneapolis
yeah they do make sense if you look through it carefully it's more of a cinematography issue, where they're like...
Quinneapolis
they add up but they're so complex that you can't really tell
Quinneapolis
but I don't care it rules
Quinneapolis
it makes my brain go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Tyra
I get what you mean
Quinneapolis
people talk about how much it sucks that modern action blockbusters are just samey interminable CGI-fests
Quinneapolis
and I understand that sentiment
Quinneapolis
but also: can't relate
Quinneapolis
I love huge dumb CGI battles so much
Tyra
I will say this; Michael Bay and ILM managed to give the Transformers a sense of weight and scale that few other cgi mechanical constructs have yet to emulate
Quinneapolis
absolutely yeah
Tyra
it helps that everyone is like
Tyra
to scale
Quinneapolis
the movement on them is so heavy
Quinneapolis
the acceleration and anticipation are on point in every scene (in the early movies)
Tyra
like Starscream is dorito shaped because they needed to fold the mass of a jet into a size comparable to a car
Tyra
so instead of absurdly tall he's just wide
Tyra
idk I think people dismiss the early designs despite there being a lot of thought being put into them
Quinneapolis
Michael Bay put a lot of craftsmanship and care into making these
Quinneapolis
completely absurd movies
Ken
I really do feel like only The Last Knight feels like.

Phoned in.

Whatever quality they may have ultimately, he put Effort into the others.
Tyra
The Bumblebee movie went for more crowd pleasing/traditional designs at the cost of making them feel less real
Tyra
like Blitzwing for instance
Tyra
he turns into a jet, he should be able to step on Bumblebee and not notice it
Quinneapolis
was Bay even involved in TLK?
Quinneapolis
it's easily the weakest of the movies
Tyra
but because he's a traditional G1 "Seeker"-ish design he's like, maybe 2 times as tall
Tyra
yes he was
Quinneapolis
disappointing
Tyra
and then you have Shatter, who is simultaneously a VTOL jet and a car of similar size
Quinneapolis
I'm shocked to learn that Transformers, a franchise where the main villain turns into a gun that other transformers hold to shoot people with, has issues with size consistency in its designs
Tyra
I only point it out, Sven, because what Bumblebee did was in stark contrast to what the Bay movies did
ShootingXC
this is why Braves had robots that turn into guns turn into big finishing move mega cannon things
Quinneapolis
sven isn't in this plurk
Tyra
quinn, sorry
Quinneapolis
but I get what you're saying completely
Quinneapolis
I just think that the broader history of Transformers is extremely wild and fun
Tyra
Bumblebee is absolutely the better movie because it's like, not unfortunate as hell and full of gross shit, but it lost something I appreciated about the Bay movies
Quinneapolis
there's so much completely weird transformers content
Quinneapolis
all in different ways
Tyra
hot take: Megatron should turn into a gun that's the same size he is
Quinneapolis
it would rule
Tyra
just this massive transforming cannon that takes three guys to hold
Quinneapolis
he turns into a gun and like three other deceptions-- YES
Gabiluzbad
Doesn’t he, in the 1985 movie?
Gabiluzbad
I guess it’s not like a hand gun
Tyra
you're thinking of Galvatron, who turns into like, a space cannon
ShootingXC
https://images.plurk.com/ERTjWOiE2UJ0ZaZqXkgzK.png https://images.plurk.com/7lwxR7oFbvuKMyGYxP0m6i.png
Tyra
they were cowards and gave him supports to lean on
Quinneapolis
his undoing is that he needs three decepticons to hold him up without trying to betray each other
Tyra
Reflector can do it, he's three dudes that are all the same guy
moontouched
i feel like galvatron should turn into a satellite cannon
moontouched
just for extra OH FUCK HE CAN SHOOT HIMSELF NOW
Tyra
moontouched : ohhh like energon shockblast
moontouched
yeah yeah
moontouched
exactly
Tyra
https://imgs.plurk.com/QBo/GLM/8Pkf7fBdH1gtU2Y7L787f7T9nTx_lg.jpg
Tyra
I have this toy
Tyra
he looks like he turns into nothing but it's still fun
Tyra
honestly I have a lot of thoughts on how to modernize Transformers alt modes
Tyra
Soundwave should be a van with killer speakers that turn into his minions
Quinneapolis
already strong
Tyra
Starscream can turn into a jet same as always, but he should be like, huge
Tyra
and change nothing about his personality
moontouched
he will yell at you about how cool he is and nobody can fucking stop him
Tyra
still traitorous, still ineffectual, but towers over everyone else
moontouched
he's huge. are you gonna argue with him
moontouched
is it funnier if megatron is like a head taller or a head smaller
Quinneapolis
starscream kicks over statues and poses in their place
moontouched
because either is really good but shorter megatron who just fucking kicks the legs out from under starscream when he thinks he's getting too uppity is such a funny mental image
Tyra
Megatron is a tank so he comes up to about Starscream's waist
moontouched
oh my god that means he can suplex him to shut him up
moontouched
yeah this is good
moontouched
ALSO YES THE STATUE POSING
Tyra
triple changers are hard because they're all bullshit
Quinneapolis
a satellite cannon was mentioned and it makes me think of the idea of like
Quinneapolis
just this huge transformer floating in orbit, chillin
Quinneapolis
until megatron calls him up
moontouched
that would rule tbh
Tyra
sounds like G1 Shockwave
Tyra
whose job was basically to watch over Cybertron while Megatron was away on Earth
moontouched
i really like the idea of shockwave just being a weird satellite nobody knows what to do with and then one time he actually transforms
moontouched
and everyone is like OH FUCK THAT WAS A GUY???
moontouched
AHH SHIT
Tyra
and like, over the course of like, millions of years, he left Cybertron exactly as Megs left it
Tyra
made no ground against the remaining autobot resistance
moontouched
shockwave and soundwave synergy would be fun too, like shockwave is collecting information passively and then passing it to soundwave who actually processes it and sorts it into usable information
moontouched
you have this infosec van with a satellite connection
moontouched
thats also playing funky tunes
Tyra
G1 Shockwave is wild because he varies so much between the G1 show and the G1 comics
Quinneapolis
playing funky tunes... in space
moontouched
space tunes....
Tyra
in the comics, he's this bad ass who rolls up and offlines most of the cast, takes over, deposes Megatron, and only acquiesces leadership because he thinks it logical to do so
Tyra
in the cartoon
Tyra
he
Tyra
he tries
Tyra
he tries real hard
Tyra
there's a reason why most incarnations of Shockwave tend to follow the comics, with Animated being the only one who really bases himself on the cartoon one

and even then they took liberties
Tyra
https://imgs.plurk.com/QBo/KgX/IYIXigah0aTFkRYZ9wfF8mnyZ00_lg.jpg he has antlers for some reason
Quinneapolis
antlers improve character design. universal truth
moontouched
yeah sticking horns on something is REAL good
Tyra
https://imgs.plurk.com/QBo/R4J/q87K0bR5Z3XkZY0dRBEHSVHZU0K_lg.jpg that's why Armada Megatron is so awesome
Quinneapolis
damn those shoulderpads put warcraft to shame
Frozen Time
Armada had some extreme shoulders
Frozen Time
https://images.plurk.com/6iDkxd6vpOxYAKnwlK4m0x.png https://images.plurk.com/2MjFsjrfFDLvFkyhnHSCFg.png look at my stupid blorbos
Tyra
https://imgs.plurk.com/QBo/vgl/iw7dV5fvfxlPOr0P0xgW3uOpDKO_lg.jpg how can you leave Tidal Wave out of this equation
Frozen Time
tidal wave is not my blorbo
Tyra
still, he has some impressive shoulders
Tyra
also, hi, I never thought I'd meet another Armada fan in DWRP :0
Frozen Time
I could never rewatch it now but I greatly enjoyed the version I filled in in my head when I was thirteen
Tyra
Micron Legend is worth a watch if you wanna see a version of it that isn't incompetent.
Frozen Time
eh, there are still plenty of issues with it that wouldn't be fixed with that--character bloat, knowing what Energon does to all the characters, etc
Tyra
fair
Tyra
but then I'm used to that sorta thing with TFs, heh
⏏️ndrusi
the secret of transformers is transformers is always pretty cool
⏏️ndrusi
even when it's objectively terrible
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