Luke Skywanker
[the beatles] The curious identity crisis prompted by realizing your favorite Beatle is not actually your favorite Beatle. I really did assume my whole life that if I had one, it was John.

I feel like a failure.
Luke Skywanker
(I don't actually believe in hierarchies of... Beatles, Or anything)
Luke Skywanker
(But it is actually like finding out, IDK, you're not actually an introvert. Or a Taurus.)
Luke Skywanker
(Because I has assumptions about my identity based on my latent John-girlness)
Luke Skywanker
So what does it mean that I... really cannot get into his solo work?
Luke Skywanker
What does it mean I am lusting for Paul and actually enjoying Wings?
Luke Skywanker
Am I the person I thought I was?
Luke Skywanker
(also gdi I really want to like John's music and it's just... not... I haven't been able to get there. It all sounds the same?)
Mυrder Mυғғιɴ
John's solo work has a few standouts but there is a lot of experimentation and Yoko-involvement that makes it
Mυrder Mυғғιɴ
kind of fleh in general
Mυrder Mυғғιɴ
Honestly in their solo work i like George's stuff best
Mυrder Mυғғιɴ
But if you're comparing Paul's post-Beatles output to John's... John might have caught up with Double Fantasy and going forward because he finally grew the fuck up, but he didn't get to go forward.
Mυrder Mυғғιɴ
Paul was making quality music while John had a multiyear meltdown.
Luke Skywanker
See I keep reading that he's experimental but it all sounds like three chord rock with like, minimal arrangement effort. I'm just bored.
Luke Skywanker
There are tracks where Yoko gets to do her thing but it's not really... like, songs? or John really.
Luke Skywanker
I do think stuff like Watching the Wheels is catching up
Luke Skywanker
there is effort there
Luke Skywanker
BUT my main thing is just being super weirded out about not liking him more. like it bothers me lol
Luke Skywanker
I'm supposed to like John! he's cool! and edgy!
Luke Skywanker
but no. I'm on the Paul train. like I said, I don't think you actually have to choose!
Luke Skywanker
I'm just surprised
Mυrder Mυғғιɴ
It is like finding out you're a different star sign than you thought
Luke Skywanker
Yeah. it's unsettling
Luke Skywanker
Paul is lame
Luke Skywanker
why am i here
Mυrder Mυғғιɴ
Paul is a cool dork.
Mυrder Mυғғιɴ
Dorks are in now.
PlurkDevi
No, you are John. That's why you lust after Paul!
Mυrder Mυғғιɴ
o this is a good point too
Luke Skywanker
Haha that's why dressing like John. But i was thinking, i actually find Paul the most relatable, in many ways. Though he's also baffling.
Luke Skywanker
I mean we've got the same need to be liked, and need to go go go. But I guess that's not everything.
Luke Skywanker
..and then there are ways I am not like Paul
Luke Skywanker
https://64.media.tumblr.com/18c8e0841520e6c9c0cad7c2e98ee15b/02fa29f08e6454c0-fa/s540x810/6304a15e30ab1b5ad1c075f3d63341ea02e96aef.jpg
PlurkDevi
That's a weird analogy lol
Luke Skywanker
I'm collecting these. I've seen him refer to songwriting and sex as the same thing like at least five different times. And then there's the stage boners.. it's a whole thing
Luke Skywanker
God he's gross
Mυrder Mυғғιɴ
Also he calls it premature ejaculation when he didn’t get it to John in time.
PlurkDevi
Tell us about stage boners
Luke Skywanker
I can do better than that. this is not the ONLY documented case but it's one of the most overt: https://images.plurk.com/2iUUAapGn4fC7wQBN4YEDR.jpg
Luke Skywanker
obviously the contrast has been played with but...
Luke Skywanker
And he'll say things like, "write songs with other people? I only ever write with John. I'm not an orgy man"
Luke Skywanker
Paul what
Luke Skywanker
John=music=sex is like RIGHT THERE
PlurkDevi
That looks almost CGI lol
Luke Skywanker
It does but it'd be a weirdass fake
Luke Skywanker
and like I said, it's not the only example.
Luke Skywanker
OH I just saw something where two different eyewitnesses to the filming of A Hard Day's Night testified that the reason they cut his solo scene (he's the only one without one) was because he couldn't stop staring at the actresses' cleavage during takes.
Luke Skywanker
So all this is why I actually wrote 5,000 words of farce about him being unable to figure out what to do with his erection after shows.
Luke Skywanker
Because he has forfeited the right to be dealt with in a classy manner.
PlurkDevi
Are you familiar with the sex-transmutation theories of Napoleon Hill? Napoleon Hill on Getting Ahead in Life: With Sex
PlurkDevi
Maybe it's the key to Paul's success!
PlurkDevi
Maybe he met the devil at the crossroads, etc., etc.
PlurkDevi
Have you seen this weird Sgt. Pepper's cover concept from Paul? https://images.plurk.com/5xcKVHffQyZXu1xqO8a0EJ.jpg
Luke Skywanker
I HAD NOT

Paul your brain
Luke Skywanker
and no but I'll check it out, looks solid
Luke Skywanker
also, this painting
Luke Skywanker
One of the paintings is called “Is this a self-portrait?” I ask him if it is. “I don’t know. It looks just a bit like me in the Beatles.” I say it also looks like John Lennon. “Uh huh, well hence the title. ‘Is it a self-portrait?’” https://images.plurk.com/2FzEiUiF2OBnmyIuRpJhr1.png
Luke Skywanker
like, he does not seem ok and yet somehow he always is
Luke Skywanker
And every time he says something bonkers everyone either breezes by it or if they do ask him to unpack that, he's like, "no, thanks."
Luke Skywanker
I think you've cracked it. He's transmuting sex.
Luke Skywanker
I think you'll enjoy this https://images.plurk.com/5REi9SF2iaRX88ObP3oZRF.jpg
Luke Skywanker
Maureen Cleeve knew what was up.
Luke Skywanker
Cleave rather
PlurkDevi
That's good. Is this from The Beatles Monthly Book?
Luke Skywanker
scanned from The Beatles by Norman Parkinson with words by Maureen Cleave (1964)
Luke Skywanker
this is such a random selection
Luke Skywanker
but of course they're so weird
Luke Skywanker
Paul was fucking born to be a wizard elf it's bizarre.
Luke Skywanker
"How exciting is this on the internet?" the least cool cool person who ever lived
Mυrder Mυғғιɴ
RIGHT?
Mυrder Mυғғιɴ
“How exciting is this on the internet?” asked some grandad.
Mυrder Mυғғιɴ
And somehow it was cool.
Luke Skywanker
he almost circles back to cool

I just. how was that man in the coolest band ever?
Mυrder Mυғғιɴ
He got together with three other dorks and it created some sort of magical Cool nexus.
Luke Skywanker
it's true
Luke Skywanker
Oh my god he's so insufferable and yet
Luke Skywanker
I mean he's doing what he's been asked obviously
Luke Skywanker
"I like his moustache, though" No Paul you don't and please don't think about it again
Luke Skywanker
this is my friend Klaus so it's a hit
Mυrder Mυғғιɴ
Mυrder Mυғғιɴ
Right?
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