[elden ring] I wish I had been recording that shit

I ran past an abductor maiden

went up to a higher level

continued into a different fight

and then

one of the maiden's fucking blade arms

flew UP THROUGH THE GROUND

to hit me

the maidens' chains have BULLSHIT reach and they clip through so much but it's also really funny every time it happens so i can't begrudge it

camera please there's 14 guys in this room and only one of them is dangerous

the camera is NOT your friend in this game

christ once those lizard guys in volcano manor decide they're going to do a big animation

NOTHING stops them

not even two two-handed hits from the golden halberd

just keep winding up through it and then do a super instakill fire explosion

spends 2 stonesword keys, unlocks an arduous jumping puzzle done while under attack from mages

whatever's at the end of this had better be the fucking holy grail

Okay, I don't even play this game, but here's a mod that someone needs to make: absolutely do not fix anything about the Abductor Maidens' ability to attack you from really far away, but make it so that every time the chain clips through something solid to attack you, a little soundbite plays of a distant, muffled voice going fuck youuuuu.

okay what is this item

that I died five times to get, and lost all my runes in the process

what's it called

Seedbed Curse

it appears to be something involved with the Dung Eater

"One of the most loathsome things found in all the Lands Between

"

yeah it's an item for Dung Eatert's quest

oh yeah you give those to him for his questline/ending

it's related to the second worst ending

so that was a waste of time and items

Well if you wanted to you could use it to jump through a bunch of hoops to turn the Dung Eater into a summonable puppet

sounds tiresome

some day I'll last more then five seconds against trogdor

I'm SO CLOSE to graduating from this halberd

demotes goal from "beat the boss" to "dodge literally any of the boss's attacks, once"

THERE