i'm watching snakes on a plane and there's this germaphobic character whose frequent use of hand sanitizer is supposed to be funny and i'm just like. this has aged poorly. (almost as poorly as the cgi.)

anyway i'm pretending this is the undercover mission from hell that Nick Fury never ever talks about

he still twitches a little whenever he sees a snake

/approves of this headcanon

though I have never seen the movie

i mean it's pretty missable, honestly. i saw it in the theater and i think i've watched it once since? but it seemed like the way to round out the evening after a couple of mystery thrillers

"We missed the bastards because they were coldblooded." THIS is the plot hole they feel the need to plug

lol everyone makes fun of rachel blanchard for suggesting that they take pictures of the snakes because it's 2005 and she's the only one on the plane with whatever passed for a smartphone. now that kind of aged-poorly joke i love

this is right up there with scream's "what are you doing with a cellular telephone, son?"

and it finishes off with an absolutely bonkers music video during the end credits by some band no one has ever heard of since

actually, divorced from its status as Meme: The Movie, it's not terrible? it's consistently entertaining, the cast is actually pretty solid for the most part, and while the story makes no fucking sense it gives off the air of being written by someone who at least tried to pull it together and present something interesting and semi-coherent

do i recommend it? i mean, if you're looking to turn your brain off for a couple hours and just stare at the pictures on the screen (which is a legitimate need to have), then sure. you could do way, way worse

tho obvs if you are afraid of snakes, you should skip it. it doesn't play up the scare factor like an actual horror movie would, but there are lots of graphic snake bites and even one or two jump scares that actually work

(. . . that . . . actually worked on me anyway)

i do think it suffered from becoming memetic and having the creators play up the goofy shit so much. a movie that did take this premise seriously would be truly scary

if "X on a plane but taken seriously" is relevant to your interests, then Blood Red Sky on netflix is for you. Vampire on a plane, taken seriously and very effectively so

not really my thing I think XD

not really into vampires of most kinds

Maybe stick with the snakes then