Daz
"what're you in the mood for"
"idk something Stephen King? is Rose Red anywhere? idk how to get dailymotion onto the TV..."
"Cujo is... damn, premium subscription"
"I mean we could watch the thing with the flying refrigerator."
"I'M SORRY WHAT"
so we've got The Tommyknockers up on YouTube

verdict: -5/10 AWFUL
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urf, "injun"
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why do you have your whole collection of dolls AT THE POLICE STATION. is that just your office?
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"im makin that new chicken ki-ev that those russkies eat"
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not roose-kies
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russ-kies
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so far the only good actors are marg helgenberger and the dog
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the idyllic music is weird
ᴅᴇᴠᴀ ᴘʀᴀᴅɪᴅʜᴀɴᴀ
'and the dog' losddjnsj
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"any plans on comin up to derry"
NO ONE SHOULD EVER HAVE ANY PLANS TO GO TO DERRY
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the child actors in this are THE WORST
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HEY. Hey. The town is fine. Better than Castle Rock in the late '80s, early '90s, at least.
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WHY IS THERE A COBRA
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an owl. a wolfdog. a monitor lizard. like. okay it's maine.
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WHY WAS THERE FOOTAGE OF A LOOSE KING COBRA
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...okay, have they revealed the reason everyone's going weird at this point?
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SPECTACLE MARKINGS AND ALL
𝓢𝓮𝓷𝓭🎄𝓛𝔀𝔂𝓭𝓼
Just the mention of Rose Red makes me wanna watch it again
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None Shall Pass : we're like 20 minutes in and the dog found a hot to the touch pipe in the woods
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Okay, then, I'll be quiet except to say I really didn't like this book and it was a terrible way to string together unconnected short stories that did better as short stories.
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Except the 1950s sci-fi stuff, that was fun
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that zapped him with jello-green lightning and now his cataract is receding
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oh yeah were watching this bevause scott hated the book and has been avoiding the miniseries
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i have a concept of the premise and it sounds dumb as fuck
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It's a lot of good parts that don't add up in any meaningful and sensical way. This and Cujo are two sides of the same coin-- books King wrote at the height of his drug addiction and that he can't really remember
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One turned out great. The other is The Tommyknockers
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lmao
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god the cop in the pigtails is AWFUL
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lolwtf is nancy
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god i have seen multiple daytime sitcoms with better acting
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ARGLE BARGLE
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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pouring a whole glass of champagne down the snotty agent's cleavage was the most natural and believable part of the movie so far
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god this jello-green lighting is not doing it for me
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Aw, I thought Jimmy Smits was all right in the movie.
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i mean i do want lime jello now
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None Shall Pass : i mean he is the one who poured the champagne down the snotface's cleavage
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in seriousness hes doing alright
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Also, I'm not positive the green light isn't supposed to be awful to look at? Though it's supposed to be radiation-green, not lime jello-green
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its like, him and marg doing all the lifting. and a little bit the police chief
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the police chief is alright
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does the postman like have an enormous dick or
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why does nancy want on that
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I have my suspicions, but I'm not gonna make all the Traci Lords jokes that immediately spring to mind.
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They're wildly offensive
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OH SHIT THAT IS HER
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god im used to how she looks in Cry-Baby
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"and then his head exploded- OH. IM NOT WRONG."
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as the plate starts pressing out of his head
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SIR. BEING DRUNK DID NOT PUSH THE PLATE OUTTA YOUR HEAD
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wh.
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he had ONE BINGE
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hes an alcoholic shit happens
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you help the man you dont tell him to go to hell
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grampa's actor is pretty okay
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im comparing some of this acting to troll 2 and scotts like "i feel like the director is giving the book all the respect it deserves"
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ok at least marg has forgiven jimmy
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(i have no idea what any characters' names are)
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I AM IN HYSTERICS
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THE TV GAME SHOW TELLING BECCA TO KILL HER HUSBAND IS MY FAVORITE PART OF THE WHOLE MOVIE IM CALLING IT NOW
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okay
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just to start
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youre all assholes for not letting your son finish his own stage show on his own birthday
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what the fuck
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it's your fault he panicked and now he cant un-disappear his little brother
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betcha a dollar he cant undo it because his audience wasnt still watching
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Probably.
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Also, if you want just the Becka portion, there was an episode of The Outer Limits based on the original short story staring Catherine O'Hara as Becka
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eyyyy noted
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Unfortunately, it was taken off Youtube because The AV Club are a bunch of fucking snitches who should be forced to write listicles for the rest of their lives for taking all the shit people can't get legally off of Youtube
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hopefully itll be on vimeo or dailymotion or somewhere
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Fingers crossed
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.......the BELLOWS on the automatic writing machine is killing me
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...
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"word accordion"
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im dead
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this is incredible
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the july 4th hissing fireworksoOOHHHHMMYGOD
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BECCA MUMMIED UP IN THE RUBBER ROOM
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well that was episode one. ONWARDS
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as bobbie yanks out a tooth for no reason
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[cw cancer]

"a brain tumor that big? kid should be toast."
this is how doctors talk!
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....kayyyyyy??
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just gonna roll around and have a fever delirious orgasm on the spaceship and fade in and out of existence
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and. feed the dog to the martians?
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this is getting looser and looser in the realms of sense
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"by the time i got back to derry i felt fine" WHEN DERRY IS THE BETTER OPTION
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BECAUSE BY THIS POINT THE CLOWN IS FUCKING DEAD, THE LITTLE DOCTORS HAVEN'T STARTED MAKING PEOPLE GO INSANE, AND THE WORST THING ABOUT DERRY IS THAT IT'S PROBABLY NEAR A TOWN WHERE THE ENITRE POPULATION IS VAMPIRES
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Either that or the clown is hibernating. I can't remember.
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Oh, also because there's not a radioactive spaceship in Derry
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xDDDDD
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im pretty sure the clown is hibernating but like its still a town that eats peoples memories and makes them abusive murdering rapists
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marg helgenberger is fucking great holy shit
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WAT
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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I AM JOKER LAUGHING IRL
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THE FUCKING DOLLS
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RATTLING A BUST DOWN ON HER HEAD
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was she just putting glue in the salt shaker
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wat
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a lipstick laser that liquefies statues
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traci lords is an entire trip all by herself
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gotta pause so the boy can sleep but man
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this is a lot
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well, back to this, and what the fuck
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Traci Lords is Traci Lordsin' it as hard as she can
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AND NOW THE TRUCK IS ALIIIIVE or something
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the beam of jello-green light popping out of the column under the statue and knocking the statue over was Something
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what
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there is now a BARRIER across the road
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yeah, Traci is Using that porn actress experience
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..........
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that
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the
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the vending machine scene was. incredible.
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I'm.
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"I think it's gonna blow" how does it get a whole ass gunpowder explosion
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like that was the worst cgi sims-theme-park win98 explosion
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this is so terrible lmfaoooooo who decided to bankroll this
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I'm sorry this is what you got.
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....wait he wrote it too??
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Sir
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wat
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WHAT
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that is the dumbest-looking grey I've ever seen
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soooooooooo how many more o' those you gotta kill to un-become a whole town full of people
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THREW THE ALIEN OUTTA THE CONTROL BOX LIKE A FUCKING RAGDOLL
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this is so bad
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WHY EXPLOSIONS
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what
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WHY
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WHY EXPLOSIONS
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soooooooooo if becoming is what caused the radiation poisoning, like, do everyone's teeth grow back, or
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does the magician kid's brain tumor disappear or is that just gonna be a thing
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that. happened.
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yikes.
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I cannot in any realm of the imagination recommend this even drunk
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maybe just the scene of the matchmaking TV show where the host and guests all tell Becka to kill her husband
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The Tommyknockers (1993)
59:38 to 1:02:36
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Bad Vibes Only : Again, if you can find it, and it's currently off youtube because the AV Club are a bunch of fucking snitches, "The Revelations of Becka Paulson" is the good version of that thing
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1. bowers?
2. utterly insane
3. does what happen a lot?
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Please tell me if this is out of line. I'm guessing Henry Bowers, major arc villain of the 1950s sections of It.
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...idk what that would have to do with this?? but i havent read the book or seen the older film
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welp
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I mean I'm no Stephen King expert, I've read like. uh. the first 2 Dark Tower books and a bunch of short stories
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by "a bunch" I mean "three novel-sized compilations of short stories"
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Occasionally but not repeatedly
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It's more a thing in his movies
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