enjoy your last day of freedom you fucker

I know this is a serious matter and not a prolonged bit, but your grudge against squirrels is kind of hilarious

I’m so pissed off! We have managed to evict or live with possums, skunks, mice, groundhogs, the neighbor cat, the neighbor dog, owls, hawks, and a loose moose in the river and the squirrels are the assholes that keep.
Coming. Back.

on the one hand i feel kind of bad for him, just trying to live his squirrely life the best he can, but on the other... GET OUT OF ALLISON'S FUCKING ATTIC YOU PLAGUE RAT WITH A BETTER SUIT

The dead one got removed today and tomorrow they’re coming back

oh good

Because they have a “bomb”
To drop pheromones in the attic and to install the one way door and patch the holes

thank god, I shudder to think how long it was up there

There were SIX HOLES IN MY ATTIC

You fuckers made six holes!!!

the minute they decided they could accept living on corpses they were evil

your attic is omelas

I should have had my uncle come out and shoot you like he wanted! But no, I had to say, oh, they’ll move on

I should post what the exterminator sent me

Goodbye lil squirrels

spartabitch: yeah the confused look it gave me just now when it realized part of its “nest” made out of its brother or whatever the fuck confirmed that squirrels are fucking monsters

look at this shit. This is the shit I put up with

Decaying bodies are warm

The guy said “yeah the squirrels are looking at you because they think that YOU are in THEIR house” and I am just like

How do you explain fucking property rights to these assholes

damn, sounds like you found the right guys to handle this

yeah, no lie, the aquirrels in the attic are probably where we got that one flea infestation that time.

also, just. fucking squirrels in the attic.

squirrels are pure evil