Sunday is being its usual self. my lil sister (and hubby and dog) just left, and I'm debating how soon I can take another week off. :x

it was nice not working last week, don't get me wrong, but it definitely wasn't no-stress. particularly the last couple days. back isn't 100% yet either but at least I feel more stiff and achey than anything.

my mind has casually been pondering RP though so maybe I'll actually be able to tag or write this week

part of me is already like "do you really want to use a fourth of your time off for the year already"

the answer to that is YES I need to. I might not totally like it but I need a week of me time, in so much as I can get that when I don't live alone

at this point I'm just trying to figure out if I'm using vacation days next week, or if I should see if I can use PTO this week after working Monday

I feel like works should give like a day here or there as a Work Holiday, that’s not actually tied to a holiday. Becauze while it’s nice to have the day off, or week off because like Christmas/New Years - because of the stress for prepping, family, and socializing, it’s just not relaxing or recharging

𝔉𝔦𝔯𝔢𝔟𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔡 : that's kinda where I'm at tbh. xmas eve was a bad mental health day, xmas was ok, day after was meh as was Monday on top of hurting myself clearing the drive. Tues was running around trying to get stuff ready since they came way earlier than usual bc of weather. and then it was up and down with them here

partly bc of my sis updating me on our father, and us talking about some family stuff. and then my asshole stepfather being extra grumpy and drunk the last few days

so yeaaaah. I don't feel remotely recharged right now

honestly... part of me wants to take 2 weeks even though that would be half my time gone

but I mean. my coworker got to take a month off, so I feel like no one can bitch if I want to take a chunk of time

I mean if your coworker took a month, taking half that time shouldn’t be a big deal: and if you need it to recharge, and feel comfortable taking the time, I would say do it.

You need to take care of yourself first,

now that I've put that idea out into the universe it sounds really appealing :x

as it is I had decided on a week rather than a 4 or 5 day weekend because while those sound nice and can be nice little breaks, I know me and after all the crap the past few days/weeks/last two months, that size of a break would be enough time to get caught up on rest maybe. and probably just barely get myself in 'relax' mode, just in time to go back to work

with a week, then it's not as bad if it takes me 2-3 days to totally push work and stress out of my head. but two whole weeks would actually feel like a staycation

and I'd be less likely to be all "okay I have X amount of time so I can do this and this today, but I should do this before Z day" etc

hmmm

I do want to try to legit focus on self care this year and taking better care of myself all around, so giving myself a chance to actually recharge mentally and physically would be a promising start to the year. Jan is almost always slow with my job, and I know next month is gonna be drama and trashfires with another part of the company

(why Lynz, are you trying to talk yourself into doing a good thing for yourself?
yes, yes I am. because sadly this is usually what I have to do; I suck at prioritizing myself (thanks family and exes) )

seriously hate the early dark and just how dark it gets. I was sitting here like "oh it's got to be after 9, that's a decent bedtime" and here it's not 8 yet -.-

though I've got a head/neck ache so I do think I'm going to call it regardless. also because I really have zero interest in working tomorrow and I'm anticipating me hitting snooze until the last possible minute

I do think I'm going to see if I can take off tues-fri this week and all of next week. it just feels like the right decision right now. a selfish decision maybe, but that's not a bad thing

/ramble