[sex tmi.] [bestiality.] I hate how these content warning tags imply a very incorrect story of my evening.

The pleasure parts of my special princess zone have never really worked the way I feel they should. The clit is buried under multiple folds of hood and requires a jackhammer-like force to elicite a response. My entire vulva area doesn't experience much if anything from tactile contact.

My vagina can feel the pressure of a toy entering the cavity, but doesn't react otherwise. So that's our starting point.

Orgasm is pretty much a half to hour long endeavor that results in a sore hand and not much in the way of pleasure chemicals. AND SINCE STARTING , climax actually just doesn't happen.

But today I was like - maybe I need better inspirational material. So I found a list on Reddit of safe sites that aren't PornHub and clicked one at random. I checked the categories list on the site and found "zoophilia."

"What is that? Some kind of furry thing?" I asked myself before clicking just to see.

First video thumbnail I see is a pig penis going places.

OH NO BIZ

i thought this was going to be a wholesome story about a bird ruining your fun times but instead it was a story about the internet ruining your fun time

oh god

I thought bestiality porn was illegal but I GUESS... NOT...

Because I immediately went back to the categories to make sure there weren't other horrible things like CSA, but the rest was completely normal.

... I am envious you didn't know what zoophilia was until now

There are states beastiality is legal.

babe

o-oh no,

i... had seen some back in the wild west forum days where a funny prank a teenager might play is to link to bestiality. tbh I'm not shocked it's still floating around out there

funny story, when i was a teenager i was very afraid that the cops would like, come to my house, for weeks after that

the internet!

i'm.

oh no...

oh dear, that's a rough one to find out first hand

I didn't have spoons to cook, so I ate some peanut butter out of a bowl. Ferris stole the (emptied) bowl and dribbled melted peanut butter all over my blanket. Could not rest with ANY POSSIBLE IMPLICATIONS about having a bed coveted in peanut butter and dog hair, so I threw the blanket in the laundry.

WILL I NEVER AGAIN ENJOY PEANUT BUTTER AND PETTING MY DOG AT THE SAME TIME??

OH NO

at least it wasn't butter all on its own. or margarine