[ rl / work ] the weekly 1 on 1 meeting is great except if every single 1 on 1 is getting bitched at and having to repeat myself 3 times and then ending on "ok then have a good day you're gonna finish this today right"

me: i picked up something out of the backlog last week, finished it, it came back, i communicated with our qa person about it, and i've been working on it since and as the qa person said it's trickier than we realised

him: you should be more proactive because people finish more points per sprint than you

WHAT DID I JUST SAY

also me: you can see from my numbers that before we implemented the rule where we need 80% unit test coverage on new code my numbers were a lot higher but since that's been a thing and i have been saying FOR 2.5 YEARS that i have no experience with testing and have received NO TRAINING i slowed down a lot because i'm teaching myself as i go along

him: people do more points per sprint than u

godddddd "people finish more points than you" is my worst nightmare, i'm so sorry you have to deal with that

it's like ???? i am under constant stress about "people doing more work than me" but i'm magically supposed to be a master at unit testing suddenly after someone had a weird, rushed non-specific zoom meeting about unit testing that explained NOTHING

i try to avoid talking to this guy as much as possible because he stresses me out so much

and i'm not sure who to talk to? i dunno if my tech lead and project manager can help but i guess maybe i can mention it to them? i don't know but i'm constantly like living in fear

i'm willing to do the work
i WANT to work faster and with less stress
i need HELP or TRAINING but no one can give me that because everyone is constantly busy and saying "go look at a tutorial online" is unhelpful because it will teach me how to run a test on a "hello world" level function and it's like that's not even in the ballpark of complexity