things are looking up

after months of stress and worry i've finally managed to track down most of my mother's money and have now established myself with the various bankets/lawyers/financial advisors

i no longer feel the immediate danger of running out of funds to keep her in care

which means i can go back to worrying ABOUT MY OWN FINANCES which i never thought would be A RELIEF but it so is

i'm poor enough that my financial situation is very straight forward.

it's like coming out from a cloud. i FINALLY have the luxury of worrying about MY OWN LIFE.

tomorrow i have a meeting with my old boss from UPS. i might be getting ahead of myself a bit trying to jump back into a regular job but god damn i need something NORMAL in my life.

and an income would be really nice

there's still tons of my mother's crap to deal with (her hoarder house in florida) but at least i can breathe more easily for a while

maybe get through the new year focusing on myself

and maybe with some peace of mind i'll be able to do things i enjoy again... like socializing and gaming and GASP writing/rp

instead of feeling frozen and spending every moment just trying to keep the panic at bay