VIRGIN-SENPAI
[family death][covid denial]
VIRGIN-SENPAI
So my Grandmother died in December of Covid
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She was my last living grandparent. she'd been in a nursing home for nearly a decade for severe dementia. Had no short term memory, and most of the long term memories were gone as well, but she could still perform basic functions
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She got sick, was hospitalized, and crashed very quickly. All the typical covid symptoms. She died alone in the ICU
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My mother hadn't even seen her for months. she was devastated
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tomorrow is the memorial service since at the time they obviously couldn't have a service then
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Some of my mother's siblings are anti-vax and covid denial, trumpers, etc
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I'm not looking forward to it
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I'll probably take a vow of silence
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I just can't believe people can be anti vax when their mother literally died alone and confused. it's honestly infuriating
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I don't know how my mother interacts with them. she just tells me she spent her whole childhood trying to take up as little space as possible, to not be noticed, and she continues to do that when she knows there would be confrontation otherwise
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she doesn't allow herself to be angry because she has a lot of bad associations with it
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Dad and I are often angry for her, tbh
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So yeah. It's gonna be a thing
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My cousin who was basically raised by grandma is going to be flying in from arizona. I don't see him that often, but we were close as children. He's incredibly quiet and honestly massively depressed and doesn't stay in touch with anyone. I hope he's doing alright
VIRGIN-SENPAI
(his mother is one of the anti vaxxers)
ʀᴜʀɪ✨
I’m so sorry
𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑢𝑠𝑡
oof i dont blame him for going nc
𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑢𝑠𝑡
its gonna be rough
VIRGIN-SENPAI
I don't know his current affiliations, but the last time I talked to him he was very anti trump
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So I imagine there's strain between him and his mother
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I'm lucky. Mom set out on life to give everything to me and my brother what she wanted as a child, and she succeeded. I know a very loving and accepting family on my father's side. It's always whiplash spending time with her side of the family
Okapi
Oh, I hope it goes well, as well as it can anyway
skullstho
I'm glad your mom, dad, you and your brother have each other. A little oasis in the sea of bullshit that's familial navigation. I'm sorry they're making an already depressing and saddening situation much worse.
VIRGIN-SENPAI
skullstho
Thanks for your thoughts, it actually went about as well as I could expect
VIRGIN-SENPAI
I think because I just hung out with my cousins, esp Dallas (the one mentioned earlier)
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He actually told me he was interested in writing when I was talking about my novel with him and I told him I'd love to work with him on anything he might be doing
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the poor guy honestly just needs some friends and support
skullstho
I'm glad to hear it! It's great that you two could make something positive happen. Like that's how it should be after family tragedy. 
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The father that came to preside over the service was REALLY good at his job, said all the right things, but it was a little sad how little mom's siblings shared. Mom wrote this page=long love note to her mom that he read and nobody else did anything like that
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I often wonder how she turned out so sensitive and emotional when all of her family seems to pretend emotions don't exist
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I admit there's a lot I don't know though, since none of them really talk about their experiences
skullstho
Oof, yeah they sound really emotionally vacant all around.
VIRGIN-SENPAI
Yeah, it's something I don't get. But I've been in weekly therapy since like the age of ten lol I have arcane therapy knowledge at this point
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now I see everything through the lens of "this person is probably like this before of a lack of support or an underlying issue they can't address properly" and have some understanding about it