sounds legit

Don't fill your purse full of bees

That would possibly risk killing the bees, and we are in need of as many bees as we can keep

Use wasps instead

/nod

Sadly, that second one I don't think is going to work

Criminology research has shown that people with low income are at the greatest risk of all manner of criminal offenses, including theft

So, either you are poor at which case that pay stub is meaningless as you are already at the greatest risk, or the pay stub is an obvious plant that suggests you have things that you want to keep

Criminals are often more afraid to rob the rich. Because the police will actually look for a rich person’s stuff.

Wasps are angrier and more aggressive than bees, and can sting multiple times without dying. They're much better guard insects to begin with.

My friend pointed out that if you included paper wasps, they are also pretty manageable with the cleanup of loosed wasps in your car. They are pretty placid unless directly threatened