i am just made of anxiety tonight

i have had practically a whole month off of rp (bc i ended up doing bare minimum at this month on top of my hiatus) and inertia is a real fuckin problem, folks

getting myself to Do Things this weekend failed miserably

and the concept of Doing Things is kind of overwhelming in this moment of high anxiety

sometimes you just want to flee into the woods gibbering, you feel

i'm sure it'll pass and i'll get over it but man

super not feeling good rn

i STILL need to do my ac for . i literally need to write one tag and then submit the ac. i dont even need to wrangle the links, i have them easy access somewhere

and i just Cannot

i am Physically Incapable. a Barrier exists

even breaking down things into tiny steps, my usual anti-execdys measure, is not working

bc the concept of taking the task and breaking it into steps is, in and of itself, a task, so my execdys is like GOTCHA and my anxiety screams

this is a new development that i feel like probably has happened before but i've never caught it in the act

sneaky bastard

anyway i may need to do something very fucking stupid and whine at someone to hold my hand through it, but probably tomorrow, because i'm not gonna force anything to happen tonight

/hugs Hi friend. I literally do this for people all of the time for my job and if you ever need someone to help you chunk a thing into pieces or hold your hand, I am here for it! I have only a few skills and this is one! <3

;_; omg, thank you for offering. i'll have to hit you up on that soon bc i suuuper need to get the ball rolling again

(pppossibly on discord? i believe we have each other added. but if pp would work better for you thats fine too)

/hugs. you're okay.

/big hug

Discord is great! We're traveling home today, so responses will be sporadic for a few hours, but I am here. For. You! <3 <3

hugs

Kota : np! i dunno what my own hours are gonna be like today so its all good <3

planetbefall: