Welcome to the Internet! Have a look around Anything that brain of yours could think of can be found We've got mountains of content, some better some worse If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first
Welcome to the Internet, come and take a seat Would you like to see the news or any famous women's feet There's no need to panic, this isn't a test Just nod or shake your head and we'll do the rest
Welcome to the Internet, what would you prefer Would you like to fight for civil rights or tweet a racial slur Be happy, be horny, be bursting with rage We've got a million different ways to engage
Welcome to the Internet! Put your cares aside Here's a tip for straining pasta, here's a 9-year-old who died We've got movies, and doctors, and fantasy sports, and a bunch of color pencil drawings of all the different characters in Harry Potter fucking each other
Welcome to the internet! Hold on to your socks Cause a random guy just kindly sent you photos of his cock They are grainy and off-putting, he just sent you more Don't act surprised, you know you like it, you whore
See a man beheaded, get offended, see a shrink Show us pictures of your children, tell us every thought you think Start a rumor, buy a broom, or sent a death threat to a boomer, or DM a girl and groom her, do a zoom or find a tumor
Here's a healthy breakfast option — You should kill you mom Here's why women never fuck you — Here's how you can build a bomb Which power ranger are you? Take this quirky quiz Obama sent the immigrants to — Va-cci-nate. Your. Kids.
Could I interest you in everything, all of the time? A little bit of everything, all of the time Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime Anything and everything, all of the time
You know... it wasn't always like this Not very long ago, just before your time Right before the towers fell, circa 99 this was catalogues, travel blogs, a chatroom or two We set our sights and spent our nights, waiting...
For you, you, insatiable you Mommy let you use her iPad, you were barely two And it did all the things we designed it to do Now look at you! aww... look at you
You... you! unstoppable, watchable Your time is now, your inside's out, honey how you grew And if we stick together, who knows what we'll do It was always the plan to put the world in your hand
惡役狂笑 Could I interest you in everything, all of the time? A little bit of everything, all of the time Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime Anything and everything, all of the time
這首歌歌詞厲害的地方就是可以不同方向分析XDDD 像是"Your time is now, your inside's out"，我是覺得人已經沒有隱私的意思，但你這樣翻也是可以 還有"And it did all the things we designed it to do"的那個It，主詞不明，我朋友聽的時候以為是講you(第二人稱)而不是ipad XD 但這樣也很驚人XD
週末被 pala 推薦了這首歌就一直不斷洗腦重播：
不知道台灣版Netflix是不是有翻中文，請不要鞭我為了想要維持原曲的押韻感＋盡量做到中文通順+表達語氣(?) 所以有些部分可能不是完全精準的翻譯
Anything that brain of yours could think of can be found
We've got mountains of content, some better some worse
If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first
歡迎來到網際網路，請隨意看看
您那腦袋瓜能想到的任何事物、都可以在這搜索瀏覽
我們有成山的資源，良莠不齊
如果沒一件能入您的眼，那可真是史無前例
Would you like to see the news or any famous women's feet
There's no need to panic, this isn't a test
Just nod or shake your head and we'll do the rest
歡迎來到網際網路，請坐駐足
您想看新聞、還是哪位名媛的腳足？*
毋須緊張，這不是什麼測驗
只需點頭或搖頭，我們會張羅一切
* 註：有個網站WikiFeet專門收集腳的照片給戀腳癖者，前陣子相當知名
Would you like to fight for civil rights or tweet a racial slur
Be happy, be horny, be bursting with rage
We've got a million different ways to engage
歡迎來到網際網路，您喜歡哪個：
為公民權而戰，還是發個歧視語的推特
快樂、飢渴、怒髮衝冠
供您互動的方式我們有成千上百萬
Here's a tip for straining pasta, here's a 9-year-old who died
We've got movies, and doctors, and fantasy sports,
and a bunch of color pencil drawings of all the different characters in Harry Potter fucking each other
歡迎來到網際網路，放下您的憂愁
這邊是個瀝乾義大利麵的小撇步，這邊是個往生的九歲孩童
我們有電影、醫生、還有夢幻球賽
以及一堆彩色鉛筆畫的各種哈利波特的角色在修幹
Cause a random guy just kindly sent you photos of his cock
They are grainy and off-putting, he just sent you more
Don't act surprised, you know you like it, you whore
歡迎來到網際網路，抓緊您的襪子*
因為一名善心陌生男子傳來了他的屌照
畫素低劣又噁心，他還傳了更多
別佯裝驚訝，您其實很喜歡的吧？您這騷貨
所以也延伸出hold on to your socks這種預告將有精彩的事情要發生的說法
Show us pictures of your children, tell us every thought you think
Start a rumor, buy a broom, or sent a death threat to a boomer,
or DM a girl and groom her, do a zoom or find a tumor
看到一個男人被斬首、倍感冒犯、找個諮商師
展示您孩子的照片，分享您每個心思
開始散播謠言、買隻掃把、或向長輩傳死亡威脅
或私訊一個女孩開始養成計劃、開個Zoom會議、或找個腫瘤病原*
「長輩」原文Boomer是指在戰後嬰兒潮出生的人，基本上就是思想頑固傳統、會傳送假新聞跟長輩圖的長輩啦
「養成計劃」前陣子爆出過一波成年男子私訊未成年少女們，逐漸誘導她們成立性關係的事件。
「腫瘤病原」指現在人大小病痛都馬上Google，然後看WebMD的網頁自己嚇自己，覺得自己得了絕症
（另外這段真的很難押韻所以我放棄了）
Here's why women never fuck you — Here's how you can build a bomb
Which power ranger are you? Take this quirky quiz
Obama sent the immigrants to — Va-cci-nate. Your. Kids.
這裡有健康的早餐選項 — 你應該殺了你老母
這是為何女人不跟你上床的原因 — 這是自製炸彈的方法
你是哪個金剛戰士？做個古靈精怪小測驗
歐巴馬將移民送去 — 給你家小孩打！疫！苗！*
A little bit of everything, all of the time
Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime
Anything and everything, all of the time
讓我無時無刻、無所不用其極娛樂您
隨時隨刻都給您來點「一切」
無感是場悲劇、無聊是宗罪行
隨時隨刻、任何所有一切！
Not very long ago, just before your time
Right before the towers fell, circa 99
this was catalogues, travel blogs, a chatroom or two
We set our sights and spent our nights, waiting...
您知道、羅馬並不是一日建成
就在不久之前，您還未出生
就在高塔倒下之前*，約莫1999年
那是型錄、旅遊部落格、一兩個聊天室的時代
我們訂下目標、跨過漫漫長夜，等待⋯
* 此指911事件
Mommy let you use her iPad, you were barely two
And it did all the things we designed it to do
Now look at you! aww... look at you
您！您！永遠無法滿足的您
媽咪給您使用她的iPad時，您還不到兩歲
它完全照我們的設計行動
而現在看看您！
Your time is now, your inside's out, honey how you grew
And if we stick together, who knows what we'll do
It was always the plan to put the world in your hand
啊⋯⋯您！勢不可擋、目不轉睛
現在是您的時代、破繭而出
親愛的、您成長了好多
若我們團結一心，我們的潛能無限
將世界放進您的手心、一直都是計畫的終點
Could I interest you in everything, all of the time?
A little bit of everything, all of the time
Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime
Anything and everything, all of the time
讓我無時無刻、無所不用其極娛樂您
隨時隨刻都給您來點「一切」
無感是場悲劇、無聊是宗罪行
隨時隨刻、任何所有一切！
我覺得這首歌真的各種層次都很神...
一方面表達了網路情報的分散瑣碎，但看似無關的東西卻又有點關聯（感覺是在描述演算法XD?）觸及假新聞、亂七八糟的內容農場標題、心理測驗等等
也喜歡中段抒情敘述網路能有多大潛力後，馬上改成邪惡大笑、將歌曲帶回網路分散人注意力的現實面，是一種社會評論XD
雖然是一個人在一個房間裡，但透過切換鏡頭角度、燈光、跟微妙的鏡頭移動，畫面很豐富很生動，真的很厲害XDDD
還有"And it did all the things we designed it to do"的那個It，主詞不明，我朋友聽的時候以為是講you(第二人稱)而不是ipad XD 但這樣也很驚人XD
fantasy sports真的很難翻www 我還特別去查了但感覺都...翻得很奇怪XD
我覺得歌詞寫得恰到好處的開放性真的很厲害耶，那個inside's out我苦惱了很久，那句在我心中是滿抽象的意象，又有這種成長蛻變的感覺、但同時又有種翻天覆地把一切搞得亂七八糟的感覺?
it我第一次聽的的時候覺得是在講internet itself，那整段的You我一直在想是在指聽眾還是internet (畢竟watchable這個形容詞還是比較適合網路）但歌唱者本人就是網路的話，這樣好像又不太通... 我也是開始寫翻譯之後才發現，啊難道是在指iPad侵蝕兒童...?!!瞬間惡役感更重了w