[mh] cw abuse i dont care if this is a dp but
innovator ๐ค
[mh] cw abuse i dont care if this is a dp but
[mh] cw abuse i dont care if this is a dp but
innovator ๐ค
mothers day fucked me real bad bc the friday before it i was reminded of my mother and how fucking horrible i was treated
innovator ๐ค
my cousin brings his kid over for me to tutor right and he's known me like since i was a baby
innovator ๐ค
and listen if other family members say "yeah your mother was a piece of shit" then there's gotta be proof of it right
innovator ๐ค
but it fucking hurt to see my stepmom (who i largely consider my real mom) not really get it until that friday
innovator ๐ค
like??? ive told you about all the horrible neglect i went through, why the fuck would i lie about it???????????
innovator ๐ค
i mean, yeah the vindication of others telling her "their mother was a narcissictic asshole who only cared for herself" and me being right was 100% healing but
innovator ๐ค
it's also why i dont actually talk about her in the first place. because that whole perception of how moms cant do no wrong
innovator ๐ค
and how stepmom tried to convince me to go talk to her
innovator ๐ค
i dont want to talk to my mother, the same woman who decided not to help her child with college expenses because "you'll use it to go see your bf" while she will eagerly pay my younger brother's college because he lives with her and is her little puppet
innovator ๐ค
i dont want to talk to the same woman who treated me like shit because I didn't want to be like her
Hoho-Eyes
innovator ๐ค
i really dont want to talk to her
innovator ๐ค
hell cousin even reminded me of the time when literally when arriving home, she slapped me across the face, for no reason
innovator ๐ค
when he mentioned it i literally felt the sting on my face and i started to cry
innovator ๐ค
why mom
innovator ๐ค
i hate the goddamn media
innovator ๐ค
its why i can't watch/play/read anything with mother figures in it
innovator ๐ค
because all i can do is cry over the fact that i didn't have that
Final
I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry
innovator ๐ค
it's why i can't even say happy mother's day
innovator ๐ค
because it just hurts.
innovator ๐ค
all of it hurts
innovator ๐ค
i try not to be envious, i really try. but sometimes its just too fucking much
innovator ๐ค
i think that was the start of my whole goddamn high-strungness and im just fucking done
innovator ๐ค
im so tired.
innovator ๐ค
and trust me yall im barely brushing the surface
Hoho-Eyes
innovator ๐ค
anyways im going back to research paper hell before work at 6 am
๐๐ข๐โ๐๐๐ป๐ฒ๐ท๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ผ
ht is joyful ๐ป๐ธ
Hoho-Eyes
innovator ๐ค
thanks for the love guys, really ;w;
innovator ๐ค
but as soon as i stop having a cry session to myself my dad comes in to remind me to bug the daycare about my pay and im just "i hate confrontation i hate this"
innovator ๐ค
4 days of work and i have no pay to show for it-- and this was the beginning of april
Hoho-Eyes
hHH I feel you about confrontation...
innovator ๐ค
I ABSOLUTELY HATE CONFRONTATION and my dad just wants me to like its no big deal!!!!!!!!!!!
Hoho-Eyes
SAME HAT...
Hoho-Eyes
LIKE ACTUALLY...
triska
resigned high five
triska
my mom literally tried to kill me once and I still have people sometimes tell me I should "be the bigger person and forgive her bc she's soooo sad" lmao
triska
less nowadays bc I started cutting out basically my whole family if they tried it with me but it still super fucking sucks dude
triska
so like hey, fuck your mom and I'm sorry you didn't get the parents you deserve, it definitely wasn't your fault, and it sucks and hurts but it won't always be so bad.
triska
innovator ๐ค
i told him that i really dont want to chase what's maybe going to be $200 total (it was $15 hr iirc) but he wants me to and i just "please no"
innovator ๐ค
also im happy to hear that sucky parents is probably very common
innovator ๐ค
im thankful that my dad is somewhat sane and cares for me. i realize even with the money thing he wants me to vouch for myself but LISTEN anxiety makes that fucking hard
innovator ๐ค
so I have some sane family that I know I can talk to but even so I'm willing to cut out my mom's side of the family entirely because I've talked to them about her and they all relay the info back to her.
innovator ๐ค
have I even mentioned the fact that she straight up abandoned me in Mexico? because that's a thing.
triska
lmao what the fuck
triska
I'm sorry I'm not laughing At You I'm laughing at the absurdity
triska
it's how Ive coped with the insane shit my own mom did
triska
it's bonkers how unbelievably shitty people can be even when they're your own parents
innovator ๐ค
YEAH DONT WORRY that's how I cope too