[mh] cw abuse i dont care if this is a dp but
innovator 🤖
[mh] cw abuse i dont care if this is a dp but
[mh] cw abuse i dont care if this is a dp but
innovator 🤖
mothers day fucked me real bad bc the friday before it i was reminded of my mother and how fucking horrible i was treated
innovator 🤖
my cousin brings his kid over for me to tutor right and he's known me like since i was a baby
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and listen if other family members say "yeah your mother was a piece of shit" then there's gotta be proof of it right
innovator 🤖
but it fucking hurt to see my stepmom (who i largely consider my real mom) not really get it until that friday
innovator 🤖
like??? ive told you about all the horrible neglect i went through, why the fuck would i lie about it???????????
innovator 🤖
i mean, yeah the vindication of others telling her "their mother was a narcissictic asshole who only cared for herself" and me being right was 100% healing but
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it's also why i dont actually talk about her in the first place. because that whole perception of how moms cant do no wrong
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and how stepmom tried to convince me to go talk to her
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i dont want to talk to my mother, the same woman who decided not to help her child with college expenses because "you'll use it to go see your bf" while she will eagerly pay my younger brother's college because he lives with her and is her little puppet
innovator 🤖
i dont want to talk to the same woman who treated me like shit because I didn't want to be like her
Gacha-Eyes
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i really dont want to talk to her
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hell cousin even reminded me of the time when literally when arriving home, she slapped me across the face, for no reason
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when he mentioned it i literally felt the sting on my face and i started to cry
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why mom
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i hate the goddamn media
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its why i can't watch/play/read anything with mother figures in it
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because all i can do is cry over the fact that i didn't have that
Final
I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry
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it's why i can't even say happy mother's day
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because it just hurts.
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all of it hurts
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i try not to be envious, i really try. but sometimes its just too fucking much
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i think that was the start of my whole goddamn high-strungness and im just fucking done
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im so tired.
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and trust me yall im barely brushing the surface
Gacha-Eyes
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anyways im going back to research paper hell before work at 6 am
𝓟𝓢𝓛☕📔𝓟𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓼
Just here ✧˖*°࿐
Gacha-Eyes
innovator 🤖
thanks for the love guys, really ;w;
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but as soon as i stop having a cry session to myself my dad comes in to remind me to bug the daycare about my pay and im just "i hate confrontation i hate this"
innovator 🤖
4 days of work and i have no pay to show for it-- and this was the beginning of april
Gacha-Eyes
hHH I feel you about confrontation...
innovator 🤖
I ABSOLUTELY HATE CONFRONTATION and my dad just wants me to like its no big deal!!!!!!!!!!!
Gacha-Eyes
SAME HAT...
Gacha-Eyes
LIKE ACTUALLY...
triska
resigned high five
triska
my mom literally tried to kill me once and I still have people sometimes tell me I should "be the bigger person and forgive her bc she's soooo sad" lmao
triska
less nowadays bc I started cutting out basically my whole family if they tried it with me but it still super fucking sucks dude
triska
so like hey, fuck your mom and I'm sorry you didn't get the parents you deserve, it definitely wasn't your fault, and it sucks and hurts but it won't always be so bad.
triska
innovator 🤖
i told him that i really dont want to chase what's maybe going to be $200 total (it was $15 hr iirc) but he wants me to and i just "please no"
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also im happy to hear that sucky parents is probably very common
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im thankful that my dad is somewhat sane and cares for me. i realize even with the money thing he wants me to vouch for myself but LISTEN anxiety makes that fucking hard
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so I have some sane family that I know I can talk to but even so I'm willing to cut out my mom's side of the family entirely because I've talked to them about her and they all relay the info back to her.
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have I even mentioned the fact that she straight up abandoned me in Mexico? because that's a thing.
triska
lmao what the fuck
triska
I'm sorry I'm not laughing At You I'm laughing at the absurdity
triska
it's how Ive coped with the insane shit my own mom did
triska
it's bonkers how unbelievably shitty people can be even when they're your own parents
innovator 🤖
YEAH DONT WORRY that's how I cope too