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Send me your anime spouses and I will rate how good a job I think they would do at protecting my son
izzy.vrm
https://imgs.plurk.com/QzK/NwR/PovK2QKmAYNGJnXykJP9bpSEhv1_lg.jpg
lily!
...you know I was about to send Kyrie but then I realized I'm not actually done with the game yet, so,
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kaosblaze: I can't tell the gender of this spouse, but that's fine by me. They look capable, but the bottle suggests a past full of regrets they need to keep buried. I'm slightly concerned that my son might become another one. 3.5/5
oh i'm scary
https://images.plurk.com/4ZrFA4SmvS6pDzmYix73Ii.jpg
izzy.vrm
without knowing if you know anything about fallout new vegas, you nailed Rose of Sharon Cassidy to a goddamn T
izzy.vrm
good job
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murkrows: This is who I am protecting my son from. 0/5
lily!
WAIT i have someone for this actually https://images.plurk.com/1becsMBegDaEts2cwvjuFK.png
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TheDoomkitten: My son is safe. I have nothing to fear. 4.5/5
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half a star off because some REAL SHIT goes down around that crew
Dead Mentors
https://images.plurk.com/6zCIwgcjVPMyoxFWhGGGWy.png
lily!
yeah fair
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Dead Mentors : I absolutely believe that he would do his VERY best to protect my son, but something tells me that I'm still going to have to do most of the heavy lifting myself. 2.5/5
kamikasei
https://images.plurk.com/7oNqR0WQvHuJS9xl90TWNv.png
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kamikasei : I think she has the skills and attitude necessary to protect my son, but I'm not sure if she has the experience. 3.5/5, come back after a few years of battle for a higher rating.
Haze Arquebus
https://images.plurk.com/2fC1660RMGQJ8l5FRSxNyJ.png
kamikasei
Yeah that's pretty fair
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onwingsofvalor: Looks shifty, like she might betray me and kidnap my son during the mission. Also, what if someone comes from the right to attack my son? She won't see it coming. 2/5
Where Is Harkan
https://images.plurk.com/361qTSRD1AHHveVpF3CIJ8.jpg
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Where Is Harkan : There's an intensity here I can respect, but the aesthetic suggests danger. 4/5, he can do the job but I'm concerned that he'll bring more trouble to my son due to a colorful personal history.
Where Is Harkan
Actually a She but otherwise yeah that's about right
Niamh Vibes
https://images.plurk.com/17NtZKIRILGppo8bqXy8JA.png
magnet
https://images.plurk.com/1nvDasMGB4KQBZtvGWQcR3.png
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Niamh Vibes : She has pluck! I can buy that. My concern, though, is that facial expression, which says to me "I am only protecting your son as part of an elaborate get-rich-quick scheme". 3.5/5
Niamh Vibes
A fair complaint
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magnet : If she wants my son protected, he will be protected. My fear is not in her ability to execute on the task, but in her loyalties, which lie only with herself. My son is going to be a casualty of war between competing crime syndicates. 3/5
magnet
accurate
lily!
that's literally her character
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I've seen Black Lagoon
Blighty
https://imgs.plurk.com/QzK/mNu/vf2bNqCIi8OYjG10iyUViPbpMu0_lg.png
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Blighty : I can see this going two ways. One, that's a cute mascot character, with little ability to protect my son. Two, that's a robot serial killer, who is going to attack my son. 1/5
ღ zipper noises
https://images.plurk.com/7CVrzsu9bTH3SeCWeS5qRl.png
Blighty
it's true zipper is an abomination
he might scare off other serial killers though
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ღ zipper noises : A professional, but one with attitude. 4/5, he'll protect my son but he won't enjoy it.
Jack Raid
Quinn you don't have a son
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that's no excuse for poor quality son protection
Blighty
maybe quinn is just really good at protecting zer son
Blighty
so much you don't know he exists
Where Is Harkan
Maybe they're just preparing for hypotheticals
Princess Emily
https://images.plurk.com/6SIxkHE49t6BU5xiUKFTps.jpg
vered
https://images.plurk.com/2GwxQUzqKsRTbuJPdRDJnX.jpg
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Princess Emily : Anyone who tries to harm my son will be stunned for 2 seconds while taking multiple hits of armor-piercing arts damage, the stragglers then being efficiently stabbed to death. A true professional. 5/5
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vered : Capable, but I'm worried about collateral damage. One stray Flamethrower and it's a son barbecure. 3/5
Jack Raid
https://imgs.plurk.com/QzK/V5i/392oxrD66Y74bRsRX90Icvw1E7o_lg.jpg
A Grinning DM
https://images.plurk.com/2rzylJL4sKJdB5zsNJQGTT.jpg
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Jack Raid : Durability, heavy weaponry, and a serious attitude. I trust this digimon to protect my son, as long as he doesn't get too near him with all those sharp edges. 4.5/5
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A Grinning DM : I want to give Samus a good score because she CAN get the job done, but her history is too scary. The Metroid Larva died in Super Metroid, and just about every building she ever sets foot in eventually ends up exploding. 2.5/5
DSTXC
https://images.plurk.com/3wFRqtUClvlaylinqHpIb1.png
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DSTXC : Is that a giant spoon? This is not how you protect a son. Get yourself a real weapon. 2/5
00000000
https://images.plurk.com/3mg7JCjQlJ3UGiJAdwZv5c.png
A Grinning DM
Hey, there is at least one building Samus set foot in that did not explode!
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I DO NOT LIKE THOSE ODDS
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00000000 : If I leave my son with this entity unsupervised, I will never see either of them again. I will file a missing person report, which will quietly disappear. The truth will evade my grasp. 0/5
00000000
Fair
Blighty
Mothman just wants to make friends
Blighty
Look at that fuzzy face
BF
https://imgs.plurk.com/QzK/qvA/vWR6RmImyTut77VqjAhYqCzQvtk_lg.jpg
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I'm not letting you borrow my life-creation homework, Tucker. 0/5
Doge-lover Joja
https://images.plurk.com/6PEjif9p6wgKnOnWRVAOS2.jpg
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Y'all aren't even trying anymore
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0/5
Doge-lover Joja
You're right, It was lit the first one who fit the criteria
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