"Hey Biz, I heard you've been doing a fair amount of new art. Any plans to show us, your long-time friends, who you know are kind, considerate people who would never judge your skills or ability and would only support you?" /nervous sweating
And then I realized I could do things like take two hundred My Little Pony toys from the 90's, decapitate them, put their heads on skewers, and unironically submit it for senior student gallery consideration.
I think it was called "Vlad's Message To The Turks" and none but the most adventurous ever looked close enough to examine the faded eyes and the flies crawling out between their pony lips.
It's presumably still at USM, if they didn't just toss it. I think they tried to give it back, but that's around when my parents were divorcing and there was no longer a space to house a small battlefield of murdered toys.
This was also when I worked at Goodwill and they didn't have a damn single measure in place to keep the employees from buying all the good shit. Those ponies came from a single donation and I bought them for ten dollars total.
"Hey, ma. I want to mass order maybe a hundred clock mechanisms from China and attach them all to acrylic eyes and then attach all of that to a plywood board and just have an entire wall of eyes rotating in studdery movements and softly, ominously clicking as they see you, judge you, and find you wanting."
I'm probably going to pull the trigger and do the eyes. Alibaba has clocks at .35 cents. I'd resin-cast the eyes myself. Maybe $100 total? Could be my annual birthday present to myself.
Oh, another old piece that no one liked was a closet-sized box we called Box Of Noise. Me and two other people found enough shitty old tube televisions to make a wall of them on each side of the box. You stepped into the box, closed the door, and we'd flick on all the tvs. Each screen was covered in white opaque screening with eye shapes cut out, then the
film of 3D glasses we found in bulk in the trash made the eyes blue or red. We had an entire corner of a studio meant to house hundreds of other students' products dedicated to our Box and it was absolutely guaranteed to make you fucking dissociate.
Every time I look at artist's statements about their experimental art, it's really cool navel-gazing about technology and humanism and collective consciousness.
and on the other side, im not autistic, and i spent 45 minutes ,while my parents were moving my brother into a new apartment, when i was 6, carefully balancing a lego head on top of one of the spears his new roommates had used to make the spiked fence around their homemade haunted mansion.
We're gonna do some print making, blind sculpture, and what I like to call "FUCK your classics" where I print out poster-sized European Classical Art (tm) and tell the kids to deface it.
I've done this a few times over the years and usually kids can go the entire afternoon so long as we take a small break to run apeshit through some fields.
hellMaineMaine hell