Anxiety again...
I şĥĩp ĩţ
Anxiety again...
Anxiety again...
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I feel like I don't know how to social interact
Eyes-Odd
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I keep messing up things with my friends
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and in RL
Guardian Bear J
Guardian Bear J
Sorry if my lack of tags is contributing, I'm not having a good time of things on that front...
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its making it so I can't enjoy stuff, and all I can do is sleep to get away from it
mariscorner🇺🇦
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no J, it's not your tags
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it does have some stuff to do with RP but not you.
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I just... my brain isnt wired right for socializing
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I can't tell what's right and what's wrong, what you're supposed to say and not
I şĥĩp ĩţ
what is correct manners and what isn't. it happens everywhere in my life. it's part of the reason I lost my job. Idk if it's an ADHD thing or what,
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I was only recently diagnosed with that
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but there was a time where I didn't leave my house for 5 years
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and I forgot how to people because I was afraid of them
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it seems that hasn't changed. I thought I was starting to make new friends with RP but now I can't even do that right
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I keep doing things that make others mad or upset them when I'm not meaning to
I şĥĩp ĩţ
I just... don't know what to do. RP literally gave me something to do when I lost my job. something to look forward to every day when I saw a tag in my inbox from all you lovely ppl
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now all I want to do is sleep so I don't have to think about anything
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its stupid, I know. people shouldn't invest so much into it
Guardian Bear J
Hey, some things make you happy. /shrug
XCXDE [2XDv]
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the sad thing is, I like being social. I just don't know how to like a normal human
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they do, you're right J, but I shouldn't let it run my life ig? if that makes sense?
I şĥĩp ĩţ
it just feels like I can't catch a break
WarriorOfSpite
I can only speak for myself, but I have enjoyed your interactions immensely! If you ever feel like you've slipped up with me somewhere please send me a pp to ask. I totally get what you're feeling.
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whenever something good happens, I fuck it up somehow
WarriorOfSpite
Mina, that sounds an awful lot like the Brain Weasels
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<3
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I have plenty of examples to prove the truth tho
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irl
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on another note, I love my cats
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WarriorOfSpite
Well, if people aren't willing to tell you what you think you're doing wrong and communicate, theres not a whole lot you can do.
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he's here laying on me and purring
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oh people are
WarriorOfSpite
what a good baby!
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I just don't understand it
Necromantic
WarriorOfSpite
ahhh
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like, idk what I keep doing wrong, or why I can't learn from my mistakes
I şĥĩp ĩţ
I try
WarriorOfSpite
I think ive done a lot of masking and people pleasing in my scant years, but also with my (suspected) adhd, you'll end up doing things out of habit, having forgotten you're not supposed to be doing it that way
WarriorOfSpite
it is a memory disorder, after all
I şĥĩp ĩţ
it's like, I'll learn not to do one thing then I'll do it anther way Ig
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well, yes... I have a head injury
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and 
Dissociative Amnesia - Psychiatric Disorders - Merck...
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its really rare
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if you want to go back really far, I know why I have a lot of psych disorders because my mom did, but also she did drugs/drank when pregnant with me
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is why I was born 3 months early and am partially blind
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but I just wish I could get past that stuff
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and learn how to normal human
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I'm not a sociopath, I still feel things, and have sympathy for others
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I don't want to use those things as an excuse 'cuz I feel like it's manipulative ig? or I'll become "too much" for people and they'll abandon me
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idk maybe I should sleep for a bit and maybe clear my head
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I hope this plurk doesn't make all my friends on here unfriend me or push them away...
𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝒹𝒶𝒹
sits on you sorry you're stuck with me now
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thanks
𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝒹𝒶𝒹
:
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I'm still feeling shitty so sorry if I don't get to any tags today.
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I thought maybe I could draw today to get my mind off this stuff but I can't even get out of bed now
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which is sad 'cuz I'm getting a new laptop tomorrow for drawing
WarriorOfSpite
That's okay! That just means you'll be able to do it for when you feel up to it!
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Rin ♥
I know I got snippy with you the other day. It was mostly because at least at the time your sympathizing-by-situational-association was coming off less caring and more to make the focus on you. but I also realize I was in a shit mental state at the time so it didn't register how it normally would have, I think.
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that's not it Rin, it's in general too
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Rin ♥
it's certainly not a friendship ender and I still want you around (seriously you have to do some next level shit for me to even consider walking away) and tbh miscommunication, misreading the room and just flubbing social interactions isn't just something you do
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Rin ♥
we all fuck up on that sometimes
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Rin ♥
are you a little more awkward than some of us? sure. but a lot of us are also just really really good at "fake it til you make it"
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Rin ♥
no one is really "normal" sweetie. especially in these circles. the main reason we all tend to flock to this hobby is because so many of us don't fit in well elsewhere
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you don't think I'm manipulative? that's what I'm worried will happen
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Rin ♥
god no
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Rin ♥
i know manipulative. fuck, I lived with it. several times.
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Rin ♥
the fact that you're even aware it's a possibility speaks volumes of your capability to not be that
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<3
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Rin ♥
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Rin ♥
frankly normal is overrated and miserable anyway
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I... still gotta watch the newest RWBY ep
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/random 'cuz of my emote
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Rin ♥
go for it and prepare for pain
Feymarchian
I noticed this post just now. I know I'm the reason you wrote it and let me say: what happened isn't friendship ending, no matter if right now I'm really salty and angry. I will get over it, I stepped out of Noct and I'm giving you your space.
Feymarchian
What happened was a miscommunication on both sides and I'm largely at fault for not double checking with you what I assumed was your intentions and not being clear enough in what I understood.
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it's not just that. I've done a lot
I şĥĩp ĩţ
of social faux pas
Feymarchian
As I said: it was a double way miscommunication in our situation, I cannot fully blame you for what happened and I am largely at fault for not being able to just let it go and look away.
Fallen
Seconding that if you have the self-awareness to worry about being manipulative, that's a pretty good sign that you most likely AREN'T being manipulative
Fallen
The vast majority of people who are manipulative are either doing so on purpose, or they're well aware of what they're doing and just plain don't care
Exacerangutan
Feymarchian
On the manipulation topic: I don't feel like you are, I think you genuinely needed to talk. I think things ended amicably enough with me jumping ship and moving on. We will still have other places where to rp, eventually.