๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
(rp drama) I can't sleep so it's story time! This features back when I was a hotgirl and also people being fucking batshit and how my boobs brings out the literal worst in people or something. CW: threats of suicide, abusive relationships and 2016 tumblr talk.
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
Strap in kinds, today we talk about why Lily has trust issues in rp.
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
So back in the times when I was hair flick, a young hot model, I used to do a variety of shoots and they wereee moderately racey and moderately gay.
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
Sometimes not, bc I did concept work, I did lingerie work and I did shit in newspapers for alternative communities like steam punk and so on.
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
As to why, fuck it, I was a size 8 waist with DDs what else are you going to do at 21???
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
(literally anything probably but I was having fun and the money was good for the time it lasted)
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
I also in rp at the time, knew a couple who were a met through rp couple and one was in the UK and one was in the US
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
The one from the UK I am still friends with, even met them once!
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
The girl from the US.... Ho boy.
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
So basically, I posted my latest shoot at the time which was prettyyyy well it was gay bondage racey. And initially it was pretty okay, Lily you look great in that! Says the girl from the US, who we are going to call Cindy.
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
Cindy then talks about how cute she found me, and that fine and nice!
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
In the mean time, UK girlfriend is going over to visit Cindy in the US, and they finally get there. I am in the middle of a holiday in China at the time. (what's with me being on holidays and stuff happening, honestly?)
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
Cindy meets her girlfriend from the uk and discovers she does not find her attractive, at all.
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
Which in the mean time, Cindy sends ME a long message about how we were both Subs to this Dom together and so on. Which if that wasn't a YIKES.
Terrkey
Stranger Danger right there.
แดสแด แดแดแดสแดแดส
what the actual fuck
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
I am, again, on holiday in China so I do not have time to respond or even like process the fuck is going on, I have history to absorb and I am sorry everything is secondary to the Ming Tombs OK
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
I do not have time to figure out what is going on, great walls do not climb themselves.
FRIENDS HUG
nani the fuck
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
But I get back from holiday and Cindy is talking to me more and more and it was fine when we were rping but now she is talking about life and opinions and what have you and she is HEAVY TUMBLR SJW AT THE PEAK OF HOME STUCK LIKE... and I cannot handle her bc I do not have the patience.
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
So I keep going silent in our chats to try and just NOT which makes her more clingy to me for my opinion
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
And then I am trying to talk to the UK girlfriend, and then OOF, the bomb drops.
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
She apologizes too me to tell me she is having a really hard time talking to me of late, because Cindy said she didn't find her attractive, and instead of handling that maturely, proceeded to talk constantly at her about how attractive I was.
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
And just talk about me, and cycle through all these emotional behaviours about how she wished she could be with me and crap like that.
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
I'm now desperately trying to hit the delete button on my fucking soul, take me back to my holiday THNX
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
BUT WAIT, IT GETS WORSE
Toss
UHMMMM
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
I confess this to a mutual friend who proceeds to talk to Cindy about it, and how much I wish this was not a thing and now I'M uncomfortable just talking to her.
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
So Cindy confronts me back even tho I WAS JUST TRYING TO FADE AWAY INTO OBLIVION
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
That she DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING BY IT, OK, SHE JUST THOUGHT I WAS HOT, OK, I DID NOT HAVE TO BE SO AGAINST IT
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
To which I had to spell out, no I am Not Okay with how she was talking about me and that it made me really unhappy and second of all I'm a physical girl and I need my relationships to be face to face so a long distance relationship to the US was possible, and also like, we can barely stand each other in conversation for more than ten seconds.
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
Was *impossible
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
And she took it maturely and - JUST KIDDING, SHE PROCEEDED TO THREATEN TO TAKE HER OWN LIFE OVER THE AIM CHAT
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
She went into a full blown episode where she flat out told me she knew it was immature, cruel, and manipulative to do this to me, because it had been done to her, but now she just wanted to kill herself and she had to tell me this so I'd know I guess?? What I had done???
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
She kept them up for nearly 30mins, before I had to block her because I too, have mental health issues, but she would not have it, my issues could not be as bad as hers and she was completely justified in doing this because I had rejected her!!
Terrkey
Jiminey!
FRIENDS HUG
uhhhhhhh
Toss
Yikes yikes yikes
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
AND THAT MY FRIENDS IS WHY YOU DONT HAVE BOOBS ON THE INTERNET, YOU END UP IN A LESBIAN INTERNATIONAL LOVE TRIANGLE THAT YOU DO NOT REMEMBER ENTERING INTO AND DESPITE BEING IN CHINA ON HOLIDAY YOU SOMEHOW RUIN OTHER RELATIONSHIPS AND SPEND WEEKS AFTERWARDS WISHING YOU WERE BACK WHERE NO ONE COULD CONTACT YOU....
๐ฅงPie-ะฏ-Squared
Yikes
successfail
It's 10:45 am here, I don't drink, and yet reading all that... I need a drink.
successfail
Lily, your boobs are too powerful.
successfail
They are twin deities of the old school, wild and unconstrained, to be worshiped in order to be placated.
๐ฆ แแฑแโฐ
Yikes :s
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
I hope you all got a good yarn out of this because it was a HELL OF A TIME
๊ฑสแดแดกแดษชแดแด!
good grief 
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
Here is the photo shoot that caused the drama lmao
swan bride
those booooooooooots thoooooo
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
I LOVE those boots
swan bride
EXTREMELY good
successfail
Amazing.
asha
those boots are amazing
asha
and omg Cindy sounds like somebody i once knew back in like, 2011... i know it's probably not the same person but like, it's ridiculous how many people there are out there who are... like that
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
JUST LIKE THAT.
๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐
Honestly I am thinking about more situations in my life that are like this and there is weirdly a lot of them